perhaps it's just easier to smile,
and pretend everything is fine...
rather to not admit, that
my heart has been broken....
and that your gone..
and that your not coming back...
...
"MOM!" Jolting up from her bed. another nightmare. Panting and heavy breathing can be heard in her dark hospital room. "I-I c-can't breathe.." her chest begins to tighten. Clutching onto her her shirt, hoping it would at least take some of the pain away. Goosebumps going through her body, shaking.
Getting up from her bed. Quickly trying to make it to the bathroom, having her weight lean onto the walls. Before she could make it, her legs give up. Her body sliding down to the floor. Putting her knees up to her head, giving it some space to go between. while her shaky hands wrap onto her calves. Curling into a ball.
"I-it's o-ok." She says between her sobs. "I-its ok." Repeating the same words. Trying to convince herself that it's ok. Repeating the same words, over, and over, and over. And again.
...
...
Throwing her head back, eyes shut tightly. Breathing in and out. This time finally being able to calm down her breathing. Finally having the feeling that she isn't choking anymore. No more hyperventilating. No more of the pain in her chest anymore. No more shaking.
She sighs. Wiping her wet face of hers with one of her sleeves. Another panic attack. Still freaks her out since it's just her fifth one she's experienced. She'd only get anxiety attacks, but since then she hasn't had one for the past few months. Just Panic attacks. First time it freaked her out, and she had only been having anxiety attacks.
Y/n POV
——————-
Breathe in...and out. Breathe in...and out. Loosening the grip I had into my knees. My head leaning back onto the wall, staring up at the ceiling. 'This one hurt. A lot' sniffing my boogers.
I try to get up, leaning onto the wall. Trying to find my balance. Leaning my back to the wall.
It's ok.
I'm ok.
Am I really?!
I-is ever going to be ok?...
...
The nine student council members walking to school early in the morning as usual.
"Guys, remember that the festival we'll have to decorate the gymnasium."jihyo says reminding the other 8 girls. "So when should we start though? Isn't it like next week?" Dubu (dahyun) says. "Yeah, it's on a Friday or Saturday. We still don't know since the girl's basketball team are either having a game on a Friday or Saturday." Jeongyeon answers but then says. "We do need volunteers to help us out though or else it's going to be a mess——-wait hold up, where the hell is mina!?" Momo says cutting off Jeongyeon. Immediately stop their steps. One still walking and that was mina.
Dazed but still walking, not noticing the others stop walking down the road. Since yesterday she couldn't stop thinking about the situation about chaeyoung knowing y/n. I mean of course who doesn't know y/n. The mysterious, and quiet type of girl that never talks and is always rude to people. But why would chae——then feeling the hand touch her shoulder. Making her slightly jump. "Mina unnie, you ok?" the cub (chaeyoung) asks. speak of the devil...
"Yeah, why?" Saying with a hint of confusion. "We kept calling your name, but you didn't stop walking," Tzuyu says walking towards the two, while the others walk behind the tall maknae (Tzuyu). "Did u get good sleep last night minari?" Sana says. Mina sighs "Yeah, I just couldn't stop thinking about the test we have today that's all." She says. "Really?" Nayeon says. Giving her a nod. While the leader (Jihyo) knew something was up but let it go. "You'll do great Mina, just try not to overthink too much, alright?" Mina giving a soft nod.
"Let's go then, I don't want that ahjussi or the security guard to get mad at us for being late," Jeongyeon says walking down the road with Nayeon and Tzuyu alongside her. The others walking too, catching up to the other 3 girls.
...
...
"Ms.Jeon?" making me turn my head back to the door. "Mind if we could talk before you leave?" Doctor Chou says popping hop is head out the door. "Is something wrong?" I ask keeping a blank face. Taken back, he was then sighing. Walking into the room, shutting the door behind him then walking towards my bed. "Mind if I sit?" gesturing his hand to the spot right beside me where I was sitting on the bed. Giving him a firm nod, then looking back at the window my body was facing.
Third POV
————————-
He sits down beside the young teenage girl. While she turns her head, looking out the window. "Look, kid" he breathes out, making her turn her head towards the doctor. "Have you been getting panic attacks at all?" He questions looking at the younger. Taken back she was, not knowing what to say. "No sir, I haven't why?" She answers back. "Just wondering since you seemed more tired and stressed than the days you've been staying here." Smiling at the girl. Something was up, but he shrugged it off since the girls seem ok. Jumping into conclusions as a Doctor, isn't something good to do, since your not really their main physician. "But- his words getting cut off by a deep voice—"y/n?"
"Ah! Mr.Jeon, your here to pick up Y/n?" getting up from his seat beside her. "Oh yeah, we kinda have to go to school today," Jungkook says looking at the doctor. He then gazes to the younger who's getting her bag. "Ready?" He says smiling to the younger who back is facing him. Turning around, meeting his gaze, smiling back—but then remembering his words.
(Flashback)
"Why are you even friends with her?"
"Who would want to be friends with a weirdo like her?"
"I could care less over what happens to her, she's a total weirdo. I just feel bad.....
I can never be friends with her...
Especially someone like her...."
Avoiding his gaze, blankly staring at him. Making him frown out of confusion. She then turns to look at the doctor "thank you for taking care of me, sir" bowing. Then walking past Jungkook, who's hand was about to grab hers but missed. She walked past him, making her way out to the hallway. He then bows to the doctor, catching up with y/n. Who didn't budge or think about waiting for him.
"Y/n?! WAIT uP!" running to the younger who's almost to the elevator.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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Sorry if this was trash, having a tough time to stay motivated. Stay safe!!!
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𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚠𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚝...
FanfictionY/n being an outcast who doesn't talk to anyone... She's cold, she keeps a straight face, no one ever dares talk to her. Many people have had a crush on her but she never really noticed and didn't care. She liked being alone. People would be afraid...
