But what a 7 year old me didn't realize...
Was that all those things that in my eyes
Were perfect, weren't enough for her...
That mom was longing for something else...
That all those times she wasn't truly happy...
That she didn't feel COMPLETE...
That she wanted something MORE...
Things I couldn't give her
That...
I...wasn't enough for HER...
"A perfect HOME"
"A real man to protect HER"
"a complete FAMILY..."
She let go of my hand without a second thought...
And ran without looking BACK...
Leaving me behind...
Good- "Congratulation Ma..."
I'm truly happy for you, I really am...
But since then
You never heard my voice anymore...
I'm not someone you say good morning to anymore..
I wasn't the one you laugh with...
It's not my hand that you hold when you walk in the spring season
You don't feel excited about
Our little conversation anymore
But most importantly,
It wasn't me you smiled at when
You were HAPPY...
Good-"I'm sorry.... I should've felt happy for you Ma"
But it was LONELY....
It was like I was no longer a part of your life...
My life had turned DARK and Colorless...
