(Days passed I'll just live quietly, I'll just live quietly, I'll just live quietly... so I won't ruin this perfect family that mama's longing for...)
Knock...Knock...Knock
Dad- "Good, are you busy? May Dad talk to you for a second"
(I only need to live quietly...)
Dad- "Dad noticed that you don't seem well lately... are you okay? Dad asked your mom...but perhaps it's something that is hard to share with your mother? If so, you can talk to make, maybe dad can help you.."
What should I say?
Dad- "Of course it'll be harder for you to talk to me...I haven't been a really good father to you... I'm sorry because of my incapability, dad was never really trying to approach you all this time. We took your mom from you, didn't we?"
BA-THUMP!
(This is bad because of me... dad's perception of mother can..)
Good- "......"
Dad- "She wasn't like this before. even dad knows how much you and your mom loved each other... it must be because of me that your mother is now so fixated on taking care of your big bro&sis"
This is terrible...
(She denied me to protect what she has now..)
And now because of me the harmony in this house would...
It's my fault!
I spoil the trust between dad and mom
If this keep going dad will blame mom for my situation, as long as I act normal... as long as I keep quiet. that is the way I can keep staying here.
(It's my fault... this happened because I let my feelings take over me.)
Dad- "Good?? are you okay, you look-"
(I need to convince him that everything is okay...)
How was it?
How did I smile back then??
How was it to smile again??
(What did make me smile back then?? this is funny... I feel so pathetic, to keep holding onto those memories I feel so miserable I want to die...)
Good- "I'm already, feeling better dad... you don't have to worry about that"
because they showed me how empty I am inside...
