I am going down to pick up my youngest that I can bring them up to live with me. I am sick to my stomach on breaking the kids up, but at least he was willing to give me one of them. It sucks that they have to go through this. They are just kids they have no idea what an impact this is going to have on their lives. I am not even sure he knows what type of impact this is going to have on all of our lives. I still am trying to wrap my head around her getting pregnant. It seems like she is in it with him to punish me.
While down picking up the youngest I had to sign the divorce papers. Not exactly something I wanted to do. I am devestated that it is becoming way to real. I had actually thought about not sigining and refusing to give him the divorce. We had them notarized inside of the Bradford Bank in Greenville, IL. One of the hardest days in my life.
Shortly after picking the youngest one up, he called me and told me that he was going to GA, to be with her for when the baby was born. He asked me to come get our oldest and bring them up to live with me as well. I was estatic that I was getting my children back. I went down to pick them up and even went on a hayride with them. I got my hopes up that maybe it would change and that he still loved me and we could forget the divorce and work things out. And then came the words that shattered my heart more than him walking out the door. The morning he left for GA, I begged and pleaded for him not to go, I cried and told him that I loved him and wanted him back regardless of the pregnancy. He looked me straight in the face and told me that I was no longer his wife. He didn't even turn back as he left. I can't say what he was feeling at the time but I felt like someone had just tore my heart right out of my chest. I stood there crying, hoping that he would change his mind. Then I picked the kids up and got on the road back to WI. I still did not want to think that this was it the final nail in the coffin.
The adjustment to having the kids back in the house is tough, my oldest daughter was showing major signs of resentment towards me, and I chalk it up to her being moved away from her dad and her friends down in IL. The youngest seems to be adjusting well enough, slight attitude sometimes but that was normal.
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Thoughts Over The Years
Non-FictionReal emotions and thoughts as the author processes through their crumbling marriage and their 2nd divorce and losing their children, and all the feelings that come as an aftermath as the the author enters a new relationship and the next chapter. the...
