Chapter One

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The warm sun beamed on to your skin as you walked down the path to Ichiraku. You couldn't help but emptily smile at each person you came by; waving and speaking to most as they passed by.

Minato didn't allow you much time for lunch, so grabbing ramen to go was the most reasonable way to go – plus you had a phone call to make before lunch was over.

"(y/n) Sensei." You felt a hand tap the back of your shoulder. Swiftly turning around, you looked down to see Kakashi. Every time you saw him you couldn't help but feel proud; you had watched him grow into an incredible shinobi – and though against your wishes, he made a great ANBU member as well.

"Hey, Kashi!" You patted the top of his head - watching the small amount of cheek above his mask turn red.

"Can I eat ramen with you today?" He reached up to the counter grabbing his to-go bowl of ramen, and then swiftly turned back to you.

You heard your name called as well so you quickly grabbed your container, looking over at the clock to see how much longer you had on lunch.

Fifteen minutes. It took at least five minutes to walk back to the academy which then only gave you ten minutes on the phone; if he answers.

"Sensei?" Kakashi was waving his hands in front of your face, you finally snapped back to reality and smiled at him, "So?" he questioned.

"You know I have to make a phone call; you can hang out in my classroom while I make that call if you would like." You turned around and started the trek back to the academy, you could hear Kakashi's feet trek quietly behind you.

"He isn't worth your worry." You kept your eyes forward – this wasn't the first time he's tried to start an argument over him.

"Kashi, don't you think it's wildly inappropriate for you to meddle into my personal life?" Sadly, you knew the answer to this – he cared about you as if the two of you were family.

"Don't you think it's wildly inappropriate to be throwing yourself at someone who is nearly double your age." His voice was annoyed; making fun of you with each word that came out of his mouth.

Was it wildly inappropriate? You didn't think so. Sure there was a large age difference, but meeting Jiraiya was one of the best things that had happened to you.

"How has ANBU been?" You switched the subject, knowing that there was no winning the conversation about Jiriaya "Are you still having nightmares?"

"Shh," He hushed you; you could hear the embarrassment in his voice. "ANBU has been fine; yes, the nightmares still happen." His voice was defeated. He sounded as though he was an old man who had lost everything, instead he was just fifteen and had lost everything.

"Kashi," you turned around meeting his glance, you could tell he was uncomfortable. "I can talk to Minato about letting you out. You have to take care of yourself too."

He shook his head, "I'm fine (y/n) Sensei."

"You haven't been acting fine." You turned back towards the academy, "Guy came and spoke to me the other day – Kashi, he's worried about you. He says you're reading books about honorable death, that you won't speak to any of them, and that you just aren't acting like yourself."

You had been worried about him for a few years now, but he never let you talk to him about his problems. He always acted like everything was fine; but you could see the subtle differences: the bags under his eyes, the way he would throw himself in front of danger regardless of circumstances, you've caught him crying to himself several times. He didn't tell you about the nightmares until you went to check on him one day and walked in on him washing his hands and sobbing over the sink; saying Rin's name repeatedly, staring at his hands as if he was witnessing that moment happening on repeat. After that, Kakashi opened up to you a bit – and you checked on him more often, buying him groceries and occasionally bringing him dinner to ensure he was eating.

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