Blind Love

Blind leading the Blind

"How can you possibly burn toast, Saint? Honestly, I really want to know how? Zee shouted. Saint was standing at the sink in the kitchen with his head down. "I'm sorry, I just stepped away for a few minutes." Zee rolled his eyes "Look at the toaster and tell me what level it is set on to toast." Saint went over and bent down to look at the dial. "It says level five." "OMG are you trying to burn the house down? Zee yelled.

Saint thought it might be best if he kept quiet. He grabbed the burnt toast and threw it in the trash. He changed the setting on the toast to level two and inserted a couple of slices of bread. Let's try this one more time he sighed.

It had been like this for the last three days. He couldn't do anything right. He did laundry. Not good enough. He tried to cook. Not good enough. He tried cleaning the bathroom. Zee fell on the wet floor because Saint failed to tell him it was wet. Not good enough.

Mew had come over and was going over some business-related items and Zee wanted Saint to take notes for him. After complaining about the umpteenth time that Saint couldn't keep up with the conversation, Saint stood up, tossed the note pad in Zee's lap and yelled "I am not a SECRETARY. I know I am not good enough." and stormed out.

Since then it had been quiet. He helped Zee maneuver around the house as he was supposed to. Whatever he asked for, Saint helped. Just "go that way" or "come this way" that was it. Zee knew he was upset.

On Friday night, Becka came over around 6:30. "Why is Becka here, Saint? "She is staying with you tonight." He said. "What time will you be home?" Saint stood up and grabbed his backpack and started walking to the door. "Saint!" Zee called. "I won't be back tonight. I am playing at The Jazz Place." He said while closing the door behind him. He heard Zee calling his name.

Zee sat quietly at the dining table. Becka had cooked dinner and was helping him eat. "Becka, what was Saint wearing when he left?" Becka put her hand on her chin for a second trying to remember. "Well, he had on a red silk shirt and black skinny jeans. He looked hot." She said giggling. Zee stood up and pushed himself away from the table and stumbled. "DAMN IT."

Saint stayed at the dorm. He needed to pick up a few things and since it was late, he just crawled into his bed. He felt guilty about leaving Zee all night, but he just needed a break. Honestly, he needed time to recover. He knows he shouldn't be so sensitive, and that Zee doesn't mean to be harsh with him, but it still hurts despite knowing it was not intentional.

Saint arrived at the house mid-morning. His environmental class ended a little earlier than scheduled. He walked in and went to his room to drop off the things he had brought from the dorm. When he came out Zee was standing in the hallway. "Where is Becka?" Saint asked. "I sent her home after breakfast." "Oh, okay do you need anything?" "No." Zee said quietly and turned around feeling his way down the hall to his room and closed the door. Saint stood there frowning watching him go.

Zee didn't come back out until dinner. Saint had called an order in at the restaurant that Gulf manages, and he was going to drop it off to them on his way home. Gulf stayed to update Zee on the repairs on Mew's place and they talked about a few ideas that Gulf had to change up his menu. But Gulf could sense that something was wrong, so he told them he had better start home.

Saint had the TV on and Zee was sitting on the sofa listening to it when Saint told him he was going to go shower. Getting up he glanced at Zee and when he didn't receive any response he got up and went to his room. Saint wasn't sure why he was upset. He had told him about the gigs at The Jazz Place. He knows how late it can run. Saint wasn't sure what to do except leave him alone for now.

When Saint got out of the shower, he dried off and wrapped the towel around his hips and went into the bedroom. He hadn't turned the lights on when he entered earlier. He stopped at the door. He was surprised to see him sitting on the edge of his bed. He walked over to him and asked, "Is something wrong, Zee?"

"Please don't leave me." Zee whispered. Saint was astonished. "What are you talking about? Why would I leave you?" Tears started falling down Zee's cheeks. "I'm sorry. I know I have been hard on you. Please don't go." Saint grabbed a pair of pajamas that were on the chair and put them on. He sat down on the edge of the bed and put his arm around Zee's shoulders. "I'm sorry, I know It has been difficult for both of us. But I would never leave you."

Saint stood up and told Zee to stay here for a minute and he would be right back. He turned off the TV in the living room and locked the front door and went back into the bedroom. "Would it be OK if we rested for a little while. The session ended late and I had class this morning. I am a little tired." He helped Zee to lay back and he got in the bed on the other side. He scooted close and asked, "Is it OK if I hug you?" He placed his arm on Zee's chest and laid his head near his shoulder. He took his silence as a yes.

Saint was just about asleep when Zee mumbled "I missed you". Saint smiled and hugged him a little tighter and drifted off to sleep. Zee heard the gentle snoring and sighed. He was up all night worrying about all that had happened, and Saint was at that damn club looking "HOT" as Becka described to him. What if he met someone there? Would he leave me then? I need him. I love him. Why can't I say so? Is he staying because he pities me? SHUT UP. He yelled at himself. He needed to calm down. He reached out and placed his hand against Saint's cheek. Zee could see his face in his mind. So beautiful. Everything about Saint is perfect to him. Sighing he finally closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Saint slowly opened his eyes. A hand was finding its way under his shirt and moving up his chest. He could feel Zee's warmth against his back. Smiling he turned his head toward him and whispered, "What are you doing, Zee?" Zee didn't say anything. He leaned up and kissed the back of Saint's neck and moved down to his shoulder blade. Zee wrapped his arms around him and pulled him back against him. "I have been an ass to you these last few days and I am sorry. Please be patient with me. I am trying not to feel useless and adjust to being blind, but I feel scared all the time. I think that this must be what a panic attack feels like. I can barely catch my breath. What if it doesn't come back, Saint? What if I am blind forever?" He sighed and laid his head against Saint's back.

Saint thought for a moment and said "I can't believe the Zee I know is doubting himself. You are brilliant, kind and the most amazing person in the world. You can overcome anything you set your mind to and you know what?" he asked. "What?" "You have me. We will get through this together. You can't see and I can't cook. I think that is kind of like the blind leading the blind, huh. But Zee, I will be your eyes to see and you will be my hands to cook." Saint grasped Zee's hand and squeezed. Zee hugged him tighter. "You know what?" he asked. "Tell me what you know." Saint giggled. Zee hesitated for just a moment and whispered, "I love you."