The Sun and the Moon

➸ Chapter Two: Daybreak

Will

I'm right back there in that night. The same night that has been haunting my memories for three years. I can never do anything but watch in muted terror as I make the worst decisions of my life, over and over again.

The night the accident happened was the night of Grant Hayes' party. He was a bit of a tool, but both Carter and Allie had wanted to go. And as per usual, I relented to Allie's excited pleading.

I fumbled up the stairs, my hand gripped the railing for dear life. I'd had a couple extremely crappy beers and I just needed to sleep them off.

I opened the first door to find a closet. I'd guessed that it wouldn't be very comfortable to sleep in. I opened the next door and froze in disbelief.

Allie was kissing Grant Hayes. Her hands tangled in his hair and his hands gripped her waist. Suddenly I was struggling for breath as the air was siphoned from the room. I had been planning to tell her the way I felt, finally finding the courage from somewhere deep within me. But as soon as I saw her curled around him, all the bravado I had assembled disappeared into the air with any hopes I had of a relationship with her. Allie was one of my oldest and closest friends. Even as a kid, I had always liked her. But in the last couple of months, my feelings for her had just gotten stronger.

One day, I looked up at her and she was doing nothing particularly striking, but the realization that I loved her slipped into my mind. It wasn't a sudden realization. I was in love with her before I even understood what I felt for her.

Finally seeing me, they broke away from each other. Allie was scrubbing her hands over her mouth as if she was erasing any mark he may have left on her.

"I didn't...I don't," I trailed off, at a loss for words and I clenched my jaw.

Allie met my gaze, her two-toned eyes searched mine.

"I'll...I'm going to go," I hurriedly bit out, ignoring the ricocheting pieces of my broken heart. Trying to expunge the image of them together from my brain permanently and trying not to think about what would happen when I left the room.

"No, don't. Can we talk?" Allie asked hopefully, her eyes pleading.

I nodded and she turned to Grant, whispering furiously to him. He scoffed and stood up abruptly.

"She's all yours, buddy." He smirked as he left hitting my shoulder with his forcefully.

"Listen, Grant and I aren't together or anything," Allie said hesitantly.

"Okay, I just don't want you to get hurt." I forced a small smile and tried to act normal.

The semi-awkward silence burgeoned between us.

She laughed wryly and crossed her arms over her chest.

"That's it? That's all you want to say to me?"

I shrugged half-heartedly.

"What else do you want me to say?"

She tipped her head back and stared at the ceiling like it was one of Botticelli's paintings instead of the plain white ceiling it truly was.

"Are you ever going to stop shutting me out?" Allie asked, finally looking at me again.

"I don't shut you out."

"Then tell me what you're thinking right now."

I groaned in frustration. God, I would love to tell her what I'm thinking. But I can't.