FLATLINE| JK

seventeen

There are moments in life where your entire being just senses that something is going to go wrong. Surgeons and doctors say that these moments are evident in dying patients. Some doctors say the feeling is accompanied by a smell, a certain glimmer in the eye, but one thing is certain-- the sickening, gutwrenching nausea over the fact that you can do nothing to stop it. But, because we're doctors, that doesn't mean we're not going to try.

This is one of those moments. After I informed the nurse of the Code Black, Chief Kim forced everyone but Eunda, the anesthesiologist, and himself out of the OR. The knowledge that the man on the table had a bomb inside of him emerged after Dr. Jeon managed to calm down his screaming wife. The man and his friend were war re-enactors, and they had tested out a home-made bazooka gun--the explosive lodged itself firmly in the man's chest, but did not explode or exit his body.

"My tolerance for stupid people is already a record low." Dr. Jeon whispers to Jimin and I as we all wait outside the OR, watching the bomb squad strap protective vests to Chief Kim, the anesthesiologist and the terrified paramedic. "This just reduces my faith in humanity even more." He states, and I manage a low chuckle. When the other doctors began leaving the OR earlier, I had let go of his hand, but I immediately hated the newly open space in my palm. Something about the fact that there was a bomb just a few feet away from me completely unhinged me, sent me on a downward spiral of fear, but Dr. Jeon kept me grounded. He knew I needed someone, and put our history aside in order to be that person. Last night seems so far away compared to our problems at hand, and I'm just thankful he hasn't brought it up. 

"Has anything like this ever happened before?" Jimin asks quietly, and Dr. Jeon shakes his head.

"Not in my time here." He says. Jimin nods and glances back through the window, only to gasp.

"Here comes the Chief." Jimin announces, though just whispering to the two of us. Surely enough, Chief Kim emerges from the OR, a black flak jacket over his dark blue scrubs. His scrub cap, which has little pink hearts on it, seems anticlimactic when paired with the vest and the grave look on his handsome face.

"Everyone, as you can see, this is a very dangerous situation. I am not asking any of you to stay. The only people I need in this OR are myself, the anesthesiologist to keep the patient under and the paramedic to keep her finger on the bleeder until we can remove the foreign body safely. So, that being said, you're free to go." The Chief informs us. To my surprise, most of the doctors that were previously inside this OR begin to trickle down the hall and out of the surgical wing. I feel a hand close around my own once more--Dr. Jeon. He gives me a tug, but my feet stay planted.

I don't feel right leaving the Chief. He is the Chief, so this is technically his responsibility, but he's also a person, Kim Seokjin. Underneath his stoic exterior as the Chief, he must be as scared as we all are. Not to mention that that's my patient on the table. He's my responsibility as much as Chief Kim's. I can't just leave him.

"Moon, Park...you can go, too." Seokjin informs us. I had been so deep in thought that I hadn't even realized that Jimin is next to me too. Dr. Jeon tugs on my hand once again, and I refuse to look at him. Those eyes will change my mind.

"We know. But, we want to help you." I speak up, and Jimin nods. Chief Kim looks between us, and then over my shoulder at Dr. Jeon as he stands behind me.

"They're just interns, Jin. They're kids. You can't possibly trust them to--" Dr. Jeon begins.

"You were a kid once, too, Jeongguk." Seokjin interrupts him. "I trusted you. Trust their judgment. If they want to learn, let them." He says, and like that, he retreats into the OR. He easily won that battle, and we all know it. Jimin follows him into the OR, and I go to follow, but Dr. Jeon pulls me back by my hand, pulling me so hard I turn around to face him.