Powering OFF

5

Decision Time
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Halfway through the week, my muscles grew tense and this soreness in my back felt as though I've been lifting weights that were too heavy. I could barely focus on my work.

On Thursday, I tried calling the pharmacy again and they said they would try to get my refill as quickly as possible.

I was more worried about what my withdrawal symptoms would be like. I've never gone longer than a week without taking my medicine. Today marked the second week.

Now it's Saturday. My mom was excited to hear my voice when I called.

"Hi Cassie, how are you?"

"I'm okay. And you?"

"I'm well. It's a nice day outside! Your father is somewhere in the house, would you like to speak with him?"

"Maybe later."

She's probably outside lying in her hammock, wearing one of those linen shawls she loves. Dad might've been reading in his study. My parents stay on the more rural side of Maryland, about 2 hours away.

"Have you been taking your pills?"

Should've known that question was coming. "About that-"

Thoughts of the pharmacy cross my mind all at once. I break down in tears. "Mom!"

"I can't get a refill. It's really worrying me, I don't know what to do, I'm trying not to panic!"

"Calm down honey, deep breaths." Mom goes over the breathing techniques we used to practice when I was a child.

I inhale and exhale while counting to five for each breath. "I'm sorry. I just hate being in this situation."

"It's okay. We all need to let it all out sometimes."

I try to change the subject. "Mom, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course honey."

"Are you familiar with home security systems, like the names of them?"

"Well, I'd like to think I am."

I go on with my question before she can list every single name from her memory. "Have you heard of WGR Security?"

She remains silent. I could sense her pondering over the question as though she were asked about something philosophical. "Hm. W-G-R," she spells. "Can't say that I have. Is it new?"

"I was hoping you could tell me."

She laughs. "Are you trying to buy one?" If the price is right.

"I'm considering, yes. But I'm also not trying to go bankrupt either." I hear her tittered, restrained laugh again.

"So yeah," I resume. "The prices are very affordable, I've been thinking about it for a while now."

"Well, you should choose whatever you want and get it installed so you'll be safe," she insists.

"I'll figure something out." I straighten myself on the bed and put my hand behind my lower spine for support.

Miniature bullets of pain fire into my back. "I'm in so much pain right now mom. I think I'm going to lie down."

"Okay. Just take some Tylenol for now."

Luckily, I bought some from my trip to the grocery store. It's sitting on the nightstand where my Buspirone used to be.

"I will. It was nice talking to you mom. Tell dad I said hey. Bye now." I place my phone next to the bottle.