The Chronicles Of A Busy Brain- Shawmila

After The Storm Part 3

Struggling to breath through the humid air that now filled her bedroom, Camila pulled the door shut and then stood with her back to her unexpected and uninvited guest whilst gripping the handle so tight she thought it may crack within her fist.

She tried to put her thoughts into some kind of coherent order but struggled to overcome the war which was being waged inside her mind . Thoughts of Shawn and Derron tumbled over the questions and confusion and it felt as though her soul was being shredded in the violent conflict

Raising her trembling hand Camila placed it gently over her mouth as though physically attempting to stop herself from speaking, she didn't trust the words that were forming on her tongue, she didn't know what sort of jumble the hurt and anger would fly out in, so she stood perfectly still and waited for Shawn to break the silence

She was still lost in her thoughts as she heard him shift his weight from one foot to another and then let out a weary sigh.

The sound caused a loneliness to cry out from Camilas soul, it was a sound she had been blocking her ears to for 4 long years but in one solitary sigh he had unleashed the emptiness that had haunted her for every day that she had lived without him and she couldn't help but hate him all the more for it.

The sound of him clearing his throat was a clear sign that he intended to speak and fear dripped down Camila's spine, she didn't want to do this tonight, she had too much to think about already without Shawn turning up with that big innocent smile, sending her entire world spiralling out of control, but taking a deep breath, she readied herself for the showdown as she turned around and made solid eye contact with him for the first time in 4 years

"So, 6 months huh? Congratulations... I guess"

Although bitterness clung to his words he hadn't meant them as an attack on the girl standing in front of him or her new relationship but unfortunately his comment proved to be the spark that ignited the fury that now pooled in her soul like gasoline

"Don't you dare start with me!" Her eyes were wild as she jabbed out a finger at him.

Gazing down at his ex-girlfriend, Shawns heart burned with shame, he hadn't meant to leave it this long, he had never meant to hurt her, but looking into her eyes he realised there was very little sign of the Camila he had left behind, instead, all he could see was a living embodiment of the damage he had done.

Earlier, when she had walked into the living room his breath had been taken away by how much more beautiful she had become. Her hair was lighter than he had remembered and highlighted with red and it had emphasized her golden tan beautifully, as had the cream and peach dress that had clung to her body and had sent Shawns mind immediately into the gutter. Looking at her now, he could see the slight shadows beneath her eyes and the sharpness of her jaw line which was evidence that she'd lost more weight than was healthy.

She looked so fragile that he wanted to bend down and take her in his arms and protect her from whatever had hurt her this way. The shame he could feel burning on his cheeks told him the only thing she needed protecting from was him

"Mila, I didn't mean anything..."

"Well if you don't mean it don't say it!" The implications of that statement hung between the two for what felt like a life time, neither knowing whether to address it or ignore it. Camila found her voice first and decided that ignorance was her best option, so she lead the conversation down a safer road