Alab

Chapter 15

Nagising ako na maraming natanggap na text messages from Nathan. Okay, so, bakit pa? Like after dumping me, bakit niya ako kakausapin? Sobrang kapal naman ng mukha ng lalaking to.

Hindi ako pumasok sa school ngayon. Oh right, siguro kaya siya nagtetext dahil kailangan niya ako para sa presentation ng project naming. Well, wala na akong pake doon. It’s his problem.

Nakakulong lang ako sa kuwarto maghapon, at nakailang text at tawag na si Nathan. Shit. Ano bang problema niya?

Dahil sobrang naiinis na ako kaka-ring ng phone ko, sinagot ko na ang tawag niya. I took a deep breath. I might mess this up. Sobrang rupok ko pa naman pagdating sa kanya. Pero, bahala na. I must act like wala lang akong pake sa nangyari. Wish me luck.

“Why are you calling?” I asked immediately as soon as I answered the call. “Thank God, Gab you answered!” he was actually thankful I answered his call, I can totally say that.

“Anong kailangan mo?” seryosong tanog ko. I hope he knows I’m raising an eyebrow by now.

“We need to talk. Look, I’m sorry yesterday, just please let’s talk and I can expalain.”

Oh. This is it. I won’t be stupid anymore to fall for his words. I know this is a trap again.

“We’re talking…and everything is clear enough, so you don’t need to explain.” I answered.

“Gab, please! I know you are mad at me...” Yes, dude. I AM. Really, really, mad. “…but we need to talk. Please.” he pleaded on the other line.

A part of myself wants to say, “Okay.” but I can’t be a fool anymore. Nathan made the fool out me once, I can’t be twice. Hindi ako napaglalaruan I swear to God.

“No.” I briely answered and was about to hang up.

I heard him sighed. “Okay, but if you change your mind, meet me at Garden Café, 8pm. I’ll wait for you, Gab.”

I ended the call as soon as I heard him.

I’M TORN. I badly want to hear his explanation. Pero natatakot ako na baka kasinungalingan na lang naman ang maririnig ko at papatawarin ko siya na parang wala lang nangyari.

Pero paano rin kung hindi? Paano rin kung sincere siya sa? Ugh, I can’t take this.

I looked at the time and it’s 5pm. I have three more hours to decide if I’ll go.

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This may sounds pretty insane. I came at the place Nathan told me he’ll meet me. For Pete’s sake, how can I not stop thinking about it? Gusto niyang magpaliwanag at nagbabaka-sakali akong masalba pa naming itong mayroon kami.

So, I can’t be cruel. Hindi ko ipagdadamot ang pagkakataon na ‘to. Bahala na sa kung nao ang mangyayari o magmukha man akong tanga sa ginagawa ko.

I guess, this is the crazy thing about being in love. It makes you do things you think you can’t actually do.

It’s 8pm. Pero wala pa ring Nathan na dumarating. I am starting to feel uneasy. Paano kung hindi siya dumating? Paano kung isa na naman to sa mga paraan para mapatunayan niyang isa akong tanga.

Pero hindi pa nga ba, Gab? Hindi pa nga ba tanga ang tawag sa ginagawa kong to?

Nagtiyaga akong maghintay ng Nathan na darating para makipag-ayos. Para sabihing nagkamali siya. Para sabihing ako ang mahal niya, pero isang oras na ang lumipas, wala pa rin siya.

Well, I guess I made another mistake of believing in him. Masyado akong nadala sa pagmamahal ko at hindi inisip na nasaktan na niya ako.

And in time like this, I should have known better. I should have found the answer. Na hindi ko na siya mahihintay pa dito kasi he wasn’t in love with me. Maybe he wasn’t sorry at all. Dang it. I’m so stupid. Very stupid.

“Are you waiting for Nathan?” My face is buried with my hair so I looked up to see who’s talking to me.

Oh, it’s the leader of the minions. And she’s with her date, I think. “Yes.” I answered quickly and faked a smile.

“Darling girl, hindi na siya darating.” and upon saying that, she showed me a photo of Gab and Nathan together in a coffee shop. They are hugging each other sa may doorway ng place.

Agad na uminit ang dugo ko, at namanhid na naman ang puso ko.

“I told you so.” irap sa akin ng minion and then they left.

Sobrang galit at sakit ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Gusto ko nang sumigaw kaso hindi ko magawa. Ayaw kong magalit kay Nathan dahil mahal na mahal ko siya, pero the fact that he wants me to come here, pero may date pala sila ng Gab na yon is so torturing.

Shit. I don’t deserve any of these shit happenings, okay? Ano bang karapatan nilang paglaruan ang feelings ko? Bakit ba kahit saan, kahit kailan na lang, pilit pa ring ipinaparamdam na walang nagmamahal sa akin?

And just like that, sitting on a fancy chair, alone, while I’m surrounded by many people, my tears began to fall. My heart is ripped and shattered.

Sino nga naman kasi ang hindi makakaramdam ng sakit na parang gutay-gutay na ang puso, when you thought the world forsakes you, people around you…no, people you love, betrayed you. It sucks. Definitely.

In silence, I left that place. Hindi ko nga alam kung ano ang susunod na mangyayari sa akin, eh. If I would be able to face another tomorrow like this? I don’t think, I can. But I’ll try. I’m Gabriela Soriano. There’s nothing I can’t do.

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:)