road ☯ l.t

chapter 4

The curtain was not fully closed, and the light from the sunrise illuminated the room. It was simply beautiful. I was the only one awake, but since it was still 6 in the morning I did not expect them to wake up, besides it was nice to observe such a marvelous sight in silence.

I wondered if they missed me, or if they even thought about me. Tom hasn't called me in almost two months, the last time being the day after I left, which makes me feel like he never loved me. Maybe they were better off without me, the daughter who always embarrassed them and was not perfect.

"Clove?" I turned around at the sound of Louis' voice. He rubbed his eyes. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing, go back to sleep." I softly said. 

Louis grasped his phone, which was on the bedside table. "Why are you up at 6 a.m?" he asked, his voice still raspy and lazy from the sleep.

"I can't sleep," I admitted, lowering my voice when Lorena groaned, kicking my leg. We were sleeping on the same bed.

"Nightmares?" Louis asked, yawning.

"More or less. I also have a little insomnia."

"Come here,"

I widened my eyes at Louis' request. Seeing my reaction, he cleared his throat and said, "I mean, only if you want to."

"I'm fine," lie. To be honest I was afraid of going back to sleep, however after the incident with Louis five days ago I didn't want anything awkward to happen with us again. "You don't need to worry."

"Okay," he yawned again, closing his eyes. 

Feeling sleepy, I closed my eyes.

"Are you sure that's what you want?" Niall asked, his eyes glassy. My heart ached at the sight. "We can think of something else, you don't need to go."

"They won't leave me alone, this is the only way."

He stared at me for a few seconds before pulling me in a tight hug. We were so close to each other, he was the one I was going to miss the most.

"Niall?" I whispered, resting my head in his shoulder.

"Yes?"

"Promise me you'll never be like them?"

"I promise, Clove."

I woke up feeling the tears on my cheeks. Grabbing my phone, I press the familiar numbers, feeling my heartbeat increase as I waited for him to pick up. I needed to hear his voice.

"Hello?" I closed my eyes, more tears rolling down my cheek.

I stayed silent, not being brave enough to pronounce words.

"Is this a joke? I'm going back to sleep."

"I miss you so much." I choked.

Niall gasped. "Clove,"

A sob slipped out of my mouth, after months I was finally hearing his voice again.

The only thing I could hear was his breathe until he spoke again. 

"Don't cry," he said, this time he seemed more awake. "Clove, please, don't cry. I love you."

"I love you too," 

I still had my eyes closed, for a few minutes pretending that everything that had happened was just a dream and I was in Niall's bedroom crying because of Tom. The reality was just too painful.

"We're gonna get through this, all right?" he muttered, however it seemed like he did not believe it himself. "They can't do this to you, it's not fair."

"Niall," I sighed, opening my eyes. "this not their fault, I chose this."

"No, Clove. Stop defending them!" Niall angrily said. "They were forcing you to do things you didn't want to, it is their fault!"

"I'm in London now, Niall. I don't want to go back, I don't miss them, just you." I muttered. Maybe if I keep saying this to myself it will be truth. "And I'm not alone, don't worry."

"I could visit you." he suggested.

A huge smile appeared on my lips. "Are you serious?"

"Yes, I only have to tell father that I'm going to a friends house for a few days." 

"But what about college?"

"I dropped it a couple days after you left," Niall said nonchalantly, as if it was not important. 

"I bet they went ballistic," I chuckled. "But, what are going to do?"

"I don't know yet, but I'm sure as hell not going to be a lawyer."

My eyes wandered to the window again, noticing the sky was clear and brighter. I was so concentrated in the talk that did not notice the hour pass. Louis groaned, rolling in his stomach.

"Niall, I have to go." I whispered. "Love you."

Before he could say something I ended the call, letting a small smile appear on my lips. I should have called him sooner, but I was afraid he hated me, therefore I did not.

Looking at a sleepy Louis, I though about his request. That incident meant nothing, and we were friends, there was nothing wrong with me sleeping in the same bed as him. Besides, I really wanted to sleep and maybe his presence would calm me.

"Louis," I whispered, stopping by his bed. When he didn't move I shook lightly his arm. "Louis."

He rubbed his eyes. "What's wrong, Clove?"

"Nothing, I just- Can I sleep with you?"

Suddenly, Louis was more awake. "Yeah, sure."

I whispered a thank you and laid on the other side of the bed, maintaining distance of Louis. He turned around, facing me.

"You seem tired," he said, yawning.

I nodded, snuggling my head on the soft pillow. "Just a bit."

"Sleep." he gently grasped my hand, playing with it. "You look like you need to."

We were so close, closer than I would want us to be, however I was comfortable; our proximity didn't annoy me anymore. And it was a bit scary.