road ☯ l.t

chapter 2

"Clove!"

I turned around to see a euphoric Tom running barefoot on the train station. He was carrying a suitcase. My first instinct was to pretend I didn't saw him, and embark on the train, however it was like my feet were glued to the ground.

Tom stopped in front of me, struggling to catch his breath.

"You... can't... go," he managed to say.

"Tom, please, don't make it more difficult than it already is." despite my attempts to pretend I was okay, my voice came out tremble. "You have to understand, this is what I want."

"I lost my shoes, my arm hurts from carrying this heavy suitcase and I didn't run 1 km to let you go so easy!" he declared, careless dropping his suitcase on the floor. "Or I go with you or you don't go."

When I left our apartment I knew Tom would not let me leave him, not without fighting. The thing is, he had our whole future planned already and I wasn't happy with it. So I decided to go pursue my dreams, even though it meant to leave him.

"I love you, I really do," I sighed. "but I need to do this."

"You don't love me," he shook his head, his eyes brimming with unreleased tears. "If you did you would stay here. Stay with me."

Without thinking I closed the gap between us, kissing his soft lips. I was going to miss him. I slowly pulled away, already crying.

"I'm sorry," was the last thing I said before entering the train.

I woke up, not feeling my back ache for the first time in weeks. My eyes scanned the room I was in, a wave of panic washing over me - I wasn't inside Louis' car anymore. This place seems like a motel room, with two king beds, a tv on the opposite side of the room and from where I was I could see a half open door - probably the bathroom.

"Louis!" I called, getting on my feet. At least I was still dressed in my clothes. "Lorena!"

The jingle of keys coming from the other side of the door made me gulp.

"Louis?" I called again when the knob turned. My heart was beating so fast I thought it would jump out of my chest.

The door opened, revealing a person with their face covered. I took a step back, fighting the urge to scream. I only calmed down when they took off the hood of their face.

"Oh my God," I breathed, relieved to see Lorena.

Lorena put the bag she was carrying on the bed and laughed. "Sorry, I went grocery shopping. I assumed you'd be hungry."

My stomach growled, and because the last time I ate a full meal was two days ago it was really loud. I felt my face get warmer, and my cheeks were probably red.

"Here," Lorena handed me a brown paper bag, the fat from the food wetting the paper. "It's not much, but-"

I interrupted her. "As long it's food, it's okay." I sat on the end of one of the beds, opening the bag. My stomach growled again when the smell of cheeseburger filled my nostrils. "I could kiss you right now. Thank you so much."

Lorena laughed. "You're welcome."

We sat in silence while I ate. I was already feeling less hungry and tired, the only thing left was to take a shower, because God, I really needed one. 

After a while I noticed it had been hours since the last time I saw Louis.

"Lorena," she looked up. "where's Louis?"

"Dunno," she shrugged. "I helped him carry you here and then he left. He never tells me where he goes. And I never ask so..."

"Oh, but aren't you best friends?"

Lorena nodded. "We are, but he is also my step brother. And we have mutual agreed to not act like siblings. I don't know if that made sense."

"I- I think I understood." lie. I was more confused actually, but if I said I didn't she would probably try to explain it to me again and the only thing I wanted in that moment as a warm shower. Already getting on my feet, I said, "I'm going to take a shower."

"Okay," she was typing on her phone, again.  "But hurry, Louis just texted me saying we're going out tonight."

                                                             xxx

After a well deserved bath I wrapped myself in a white towel I found inside a cabinet, it was not soft like I was used to at home, but I was not in position to chose.

"Huh, Lorena?" I shyly called when I got out of the bathroom. 

"Yes?" 

"Can you- can you borrow me some clothes?" I bit my bottom lip while I waited for her answer.

"Sure," she smiled, getting on her feet. "Luckily we're the same height, so it will fit you perfectly."

Lorena opened her suitcase, excitedly looking through her clothes. "This will look so good on you!" she tossed me a short indigo dress and black flats. "Don't give me that face, Clove. I know what I'm talking about."

I was inside the bathroom, closing the door so I could change when she called me.

"I was already forgetting. Here." she gave me a bra and a underwear. "Now you can go."

I put the dress, grimacing as I saw myself in the slightly dirty mirror. After weeks of practically no food, I had lost a lot of weight and where I used to have curves now were bones. But at least the dress fit me, it was a bit big for me though.

"Come out!" I heard Lorena say. "I want to see how it looks on you."

I unlocked the door, doing what Lorena asked. She clapped her hands together, smiling. "Oh, lovely!" 

Lorena grasped some clothes from her bag. "Now, I need to get dressed. You can use my makeup with you want to."

Lorena helping me choose my clothes reminded me of my mother, which led to me feeling homesick, however I was not allowed to call them. My parents did not support me at all in my decision and they were not happy when I left home, we haven't talked since then. My eyes brimmed with tears at the thought.

"What's wrong, love?"

I quickly wiped my eyes, turning around to face a worried Louis. "Nothing, I'm fine."

He sighed. "Don't do this. You know you can trust me.

He was genuinely worried about me, but could I really trust him? I mean, we met yesterday and besides, I knew nothing about Louis, not even his full name. So why I felt like I could?

"I'm just homesick, that's all." I said, forcing a smile so he knew I was fine.

"Okay..." Louis trailed off, but I knew he didn't fully believed in me. He slowly took a step closer to me. "Clove?"

"Yes?"

We were just a few centimeters away from each other, so close I could smell his breath. Coffee and cigarettes.

"You look incredible." he said, staring at my eyes.

I was panicking inside. Louis was not supposed to be so close to me nor his mouth so close to mine that if I moved a little we would kiss. I was here to pursue my dreams, and love was not one of them.

When Louis leaned in I turned my head, resulting in him kissing my cheek. He opened his eyes, looking hurt.

"I'm so sorry, Clove. I- I don't know-"

"Can we just pretend we never almost kissed?" I tried to joke to light the mood. 

"What are you talking about? We never almost kissed."