Always Here For You ✔️

02 - Annika

It was unfair. All of it was bloody unfair. The one thing Shivaay ever did was, is to be there for their family whenever. Whenever and wherever! He didn't deserve to be thrown out like that. She did feel bad, when Tej made her take off her jewelry. But what hurt more was Shivaay's ignorance. His replies were monosyllabic for the most part in these 2 months, excluding the 'take care's.

One day, Shivaay came home drunk, and Annika's heart was literally sliced into pieces.

"Annika, how would OmRu be? They might be missing me, you. Who will take care of them, especially Rudy, Annika? You used to take care of his studies and set curfews, and I used to take care of his nutrition. Who is doing all that now? What if he is drowning himself in parties and alcohol? Did he confess to Bhavya? What if Bhavya moves on? It will be too late... what will happen to him then?" A drunk Shivaay blabbered, holding Annika's hands, who herself was crying.

Annika heard him wallow in never-ending guilt of leaving them, failing as The Great Wall of SSO, and hurting everyone dear in his life. She didn't know what to do. He was falling into this depressive state. The next morning, she made her husband swear on her that he will never over drink like this. She was scared to lose him to death, to alcohol. And he didn't drink again ever. But, Shivaay was still depressed and refused to talk to her. She felt disheartened that her husband didn't want to talk to her, but her first priority was him. Shivaay's sleep pattern worsened, and Annika talked to a psychiatrist friend of hers. It was too early to prescribe meds. and also risky considering his heart condition. She suggested talk therapy or one sleeping pill every night. Annika, knowing Shivaay, dissolved a sleeping pill every night in his nighttime kale juice that he drank. But, sleeping pills were never healthy, so she found another trick with her husband: making him sit in the backyard amidst the cool, nighttime breeze. He of course wouldn't sit outside on his own, so she purposefully would go every night and sit with no warm clothes on. She knew that he'd follow and stay beside her until gone back in. No matter what plotting was done, Shivaay relaxed a bit in the cold silence and that helped him sleep.

But, she lost him, she felt like. These 2 months overpowered their togetherness of almost 3 years-7 months before the separation and 2 year 5 months after. Was their friendship, love, happiness, moments not enough for Shivaay? Didn't all of it scream that she is there for him no matter what? Those questions didn't seem to have answers, and before she can ponder more, a call came.

Ru, it read on her phone.

"Hello Rudra?" She answered, trying to mask her pain skilfully.

"Hey Bhabhi!" Rudra greeted in a very fake-happy tone.

"How are you and everyone?" Her daily question tumbled out of her mouth.

"Fine. How are you?" Rudra asked with a sigh.

"He didn't answer your calls, didn't he?" She asked.

"Why is Bhaiyya doing this, Bhabhi?"

Because he is spiraling into depression, she wanted to scream.

"He is broken, Ru. I will get him to talk to you soon. I am so sorry!" Annika apologized, ashamed that she couldn't do anything for her baby.

"It isn't your fault! Don't blame yourself at all. I know you will, but don't strain yourself. Okay?" When did Rudra become this mature? He was always mature, but it would be covered by the heartwarming, child-like side of his.

"Yeah." She relaxed a bit, "Isn't it time for work?"

"Yeah." He grumpily said. He hated that Annika knew so much about him and Om.

"Then get going." She said and after exchanging 'bye's, she hung up. Rudra was newly joined as an intern at OI, and punctuality was valued above everything else there. She didn't want her baccha getting scolded there.

Annika went back to the dining table and cleared it. She didn't have the heart to eat the bhurji and stacked it inside the fridge. This was her routine: not eat breakfast, stuff it inside the fridge, and throw it out after a few days knowing that will go bad. And lunch was all about eating some bread and butter, the only thing that she was able to swallow and digest.

Her palms became sweaty, actually her whole body was sweating. Only if Annika would notice. Her whole concentration was on the dark memories of these 2 months. Those days when they would cook together, play chess, and most importantly talk to each other. Talk it all out. And before she knew it, her vision became tunnelled, a sensation of vomiting passed through, and blood pressure dropped.

Then and there, she collapsed.