ILL-FATED JOURNEY™

Chapter 31

For the next two months, Azura seemed content to sleep in his arms. Mila acted as nanny and

brought Irena to her to nurse. Watching her perform the simple act had an odd effect on him. He

suddenly wanted to hold both of them as she did it, and was pleased to see his daughter eat.

Watching Irena was now his favourite pastime. She also had another feature of his – his dimples. 

Smiling when she did, became an automatic reflex, so was playing with her fingers and toes. He

never thought himself the fatherly type. His own father was no role model to follow, but once he

held her and saw her smile at him, he was hooked.

Since he spent so much time in the nursery, naturally or rather unnaturally her mother did not. 

Sometimes, he thought he was the reason she kept her distance, but she never held the child

after feeding. And she didn't visit her either. He thought naming the child after her mother

would help, but it seems that Azura hated him too much to even love his child.

He knew he deserved all of this. He shouldn't have started hitting her. He hated the way she had

clung to him after he rescued her from Boris and being so young, he couldn't act on the feeling

she evoked. Then as she grew, he hated that he was stuck with her and that his damn body's

craving for her had grown to maddening heights, and she acted as if he wasn't worthy to clean 

her shoes.

That's why he lashed out so often. Her constant rejection. His bloodline was craved and praised

all over Europe and she thought having his baby was a curse. He was never good enough in her

eyes. Strangely, her attitude made her perfect in his eyes. She would never love him for his

crown, only for himself. And now he needed her to love himself, but she hated him.

He needed her love but right now all he got was tolerance. She was accepting his presence but

nothing more. What gave him hope was the brief moments when she would actually 'see' him. 

When she cursed at him. When she cried for her mother. When they made love. He saw her then

too. When she was in his arms like that, she couldn't hide what she felt. She was fighting it, but it

was there. It's been there since he laid eyes on her. His mistake was trying to kill it thinking she

wasn't worthy. Ironically, when he succeeded, he wanted to bring it back to life.

He just hoped it wasn't too late. He wanted what he should've gotten as a child, a happy family.

He wanted a wife that loved him and a brood of children, but he only wanted it with her. How

was he going to get her to trust him again? He cooled his temper but that didn't seem to be

enough. She provoked him each chance she got. But he knew he would never go down that

road with her again, seeing his handiwork had been enough for him.