Rainbows and Dark Clouds

Chapter 1 - 2010

I remember the first time I saw you. You were in a lively group that I ached to be a part of as the current one I was in was miserable. At least for me. I was leaning against a metal rail outside the maths block just listening to my friends talk about a music group I had no interest in. I had tried to like them, something called Tokyo Hotel, but no matter how many songs I clicked on YouTube, I hated all of them. I heard some screams and laughter round the corner by the IT block. We were near the back of the school where the least favourite subjects were held, so naturally people liked to stay away from here. Moving away from my friends, I looked around and saw a big friendship group; girls gossiping and giggling then some boys chasing each other. They looked happy. Although I couldn't understand what was so funny; it was a chubby kid wearing a tiny backpack, or at least it looked small on him, attempting to run after a scrawny boy. It didn't look malicious, evidently they were friends. But, the thing I noticed is that they were all having fun. I recognised most of them, didn't know a lot of their names but I felt an urge to be there. To reach toward the rainbow. My current friends hadn't even cared that I stopped listening and moved away, just showed I wasn't important.

All the people in the group at the end I knew to be in the same house; St David. Whereas I was in St Francis and I knew a lot of them were smart because they weren't in my classes. I was in the middle range; not dumb but not hugely clever. If I wanted to I could push to go further, but school was boring and to be honest nothing made me want to come and do better. On top of that most teachers didn't notice potential in kids like me because the annoying chavvy assholes occupied them the whole time during class. Irritating bitches who rolled their skirts extra high to show off their mature-ness in having sex early and with someone older. I just thought it was gross and not something to flaunt, especially if someone is having sex with a 15 year old. The chavvy boys would just be loud and irritating, but the same nonetheless.

Anyway, from where I was standing I couldn't see each individual very well. From observation and a little knowledge, there were six girls and five boys. The girl's leader was Anna; petite, dark blonde and already experienced with boys. The second was Alice; skinny as a rail with strawberry blonde hair edging towards being ginger. Transfers from earlier in the year were non-identical triplets; brunette was Hailey, blonde was Riley and red head was Katie. Only one other girl; brunette, pale and a little rounded compared to the others but not fat, I was unsure of her name. For the boys, there was the chubby kid; Kyle and two brothers; scrawny kid and a taller one. The tall one was Ron, he wasn't a clever one because I knew he was below me. Then a couple other boys, one of them had an annoying laugh. I could hear it from across the block.

Still, I knew one thing. In the next year, I'd make the effort to become part of their group. My current one had been separating themselves from me anyway. I had tried at the beginning to be likeable and have things in common, but after so many fights with the leader: Lorna I just gave up towards the end of year 8. It didn't help that one of Lorna's best friends never liked me; always sent me evil glares and didn't talk to me ever. One girl; Claire tried to be super friendly with me. If I wanted, probably could have been best friends but again I didn't want to put my heart into it. Especially when I saw you each lunch, quietly laughing, I wanted to get to know you. If that meant I would have to be a lone wolf for a while. I could do it.

I felt you were worth it.