Beanies and Sweatshirts // Solby

11

COLBY POV

I looked down at my ice cream and forced myself to set my spoon down.

fat and ugly. fat. fat. fat.

I could feel my stomach turning and my head spinning at the idea of how much ice cream I had just eaten. The bowl was almost gone and there was not any sprinkles left. I could hear the sound of his voice in my ear. 'Your fat makes you a better fuck' shivering I looked out the window.

Ben was eating his ice cream and humming slightly. I could see him shoving in spoonfuls and not caring about it one bit.

"Cowlby?" I startled at his soft voice and looked to him.

"Yes?" I asked.

"How come your not finishing your ice cream? Is it not good?" He tilted his head to the side.

"Oh uhm." I swallowed and looked to his expecting face. "i'm full." But as I said that my stomach growled loudly in protest.

"But your tummy says you are hungry. So why don't you eat?" He looked confused while I just had a slight blush on my face.

"Well," I pulled my sleeves down a little and held my stomach. "I guess I just don't want to eat."

"Oh why not?" he questioned and set his ice cream down.

"Because then I'd have to get rid of the food in me if I did." His eyes squinted. "But its okay because I'll get sick if I don't do that."

"Ohh," he nodded and licked his spoon. "So you don't liked food?"

"Yeah, I guess." I smiled at him and he giggled.

"Sammy was right you are weird." He smiled and I felt my stomach drop.

"Sam said I'm weird?" I asked him.

"Yea, he said that you didn't talk and that you were really weird." He took the last bite of his ice cream and set it down.

"Oh," I smiled a little at him and looked out the window again.

he thinks your weird.

probably fat to.

and ugly

and stupid

and worthless.

i guess hes like the rest of him.

or maybe hes like him.

nice to you until he gets what he wants.

I shivered at the thought and turned towards Ben again.

"Hey." I looked up to see Sam sitting down. "Are you guys done yet?" I nodded and so did Ben. "Okay then lets go." He grabbed Ben's dish and his own and stood up. I followed suit, and we walked back outside and down the sidewalk to the park. We got to the tree I was at and stopped, "So i guess I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked.

he thinks your weird.

hes only being nice for his own good.

"Sure," I tried to smile but it didn't really work out. He smiled back and then I felt little arms wrap around my legs/waist. I looked down and smiled at the mini blonde.

"Bye bye Colbs." Ben said and smiled a toothy grin.

I patted his head and smiled. "bye."

They waved as they walked off and I turned to go back to my house. My window was, thankfully, still open and I crawled back in. I took my hoodie and set it in my laundry basket. My stomach was feeling uneasy and I could feel myself starting to sweat. Shouldn't have eaten that ice cream.

Sweat dripping a little on my forehead and I wiped it off. Fat ass. maybe you should get rid of it. you ate too much anyways. if you keep it in youll only get fatter and if you get fat again it could happen. My hands were shaking and my head was pounding. "Oh no." I felt bile rising in my throat and I ran to my bathroom.

that's it.

My legs collapsed in front of the toilet and I was on my knees with my head over the toilet in seconds.

let it all out.

The feeling of my fingers in my throat was enough to bring tears to my eyes.

you deserve the burn in your throat.

I sobbed as the ice cream from earlier came back up.

if you weren't so fat or ugly to begin with this wouldn't have to happen.

My fingers kept going down my throat until all I was throwing up was clear stomach bile. Sitting back I closed my eyes and wiped my hands on a towel.

what have I done.

I set my hands out in front of me and watched them shake through my blurry vision.

if you keep doing this you wont be fat anymore.

Sobs wracked my body as my hands wrapped themselves around my middle.

hey,

I dont have much to say except hey or hi.

hope you enjoy.

my writing skills have seriously declined over the last year or so, because I Haven't been consistently writing on the same stories all the time so I apologize.

I also apologize for the not updateing. i just lost interest in solby.

i wont make any promises except that I'll finish this book by the end of the year.

anyways

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HAPPY AND SAD//SOLBY

AND THE NEW RELEASE COMING SOON

xx