Ludic Selcouth #2: This Song Saved My Life

Prologue

“What’s with that sulking face, Alectrona?" 

It isn’t only my face, I feel like I am carrying pounds of cements on my shoulders. “May alam ka bang murang apartment na pwede kong tuluyan?”

Her forehead creased as she continues to examine me. “Why?”

I snickered. Why? There is only one reason why I am thinking of moving out, even if I don’t have the enough money to fund my own living. I am so tired of going home, if I can even call that a home. I am so fucking tired of my relatives’ rotten personalities.

“Ayoko nang umuwi.”

She pursed her lips and didn’t say anything for a while. I massaged my temples and closed my eyes tightly. Marahas akong bumuntong hininga habang pilit na kinukumbinsi ang sarili na makakahanap din ako ng tirahan at hindi ko na kakailanganin pang umuwi ulit sa impyernong ’yon.

Why am I in a situation like this?

Simple. My mom died when I was only 10. My father became alcoholic and doesn’t give a single fuck to his daughter anymore. I have no clue of whatever has happened to him, or if he is still alive. I don’t have any news about him up to this day.

Naiwan ako sa aking tita, na kapatid ng tatay ko. I’ve been living with them since I was 16. Iyon din ang edad kung saan tuluyan na nga akong pinabayaan ng aking tatay at bigla na lang akong hindi inuwian. I could only recall in my head how afraid I was that time. Hindi ko alam kung saan kukuha ng pera para ipambili ng pagkain.

Ever since, my life just keep worsening. I couldn’t say that my tita is happy with the new mouth that she needs to feed. I tried my best to please her by doing the house chores. Sinubukan kong huwag maging pabigat masyado dahil nakikitira lang ako at alam ko kung saan dapat ako lumugar.

It was so tiring but I needed to do it so I can at least return the help that they were giving to me, the food that I was consuming and the money that they’re spending on my tuition for school.

“Ano na naman bang ginawa ng mga kamag-anak mo sa’yo?” Mallory’s face is also starting to show annoyance while asking. She just knows my situation so well.

“The usual. I forgot to iron their clothes last night. I was busy doing some paperworks and I didn’t have the time to iron their uniforms anymore. Tita Carolina scolded me this morning,” I said, tiredness laced on my voice.

She can only looked at me with sympathy. “I don’t believe that it was just a mere scolding."

Pagak na lang akong natawa at umiling. She’s right. It wasn’t just a mere scolding session. Halos kalbuhin ako ni Tita Carolina kanina. Nginudngod niya pa ako sa bathtub na puno ng tubig.

But Mallory didn’t need to know that.

Tumayo ako at inayos ang mga gamit. “You can’t live alone yet, Alec. Mas mahihirapan ka. Let’s think this through first before we act, they will cut your allowance once you leave,” ani Mallory at inayos na rin ang mga gamit.

Sinuot ko ang brown na backpack at tiningnan ang labas ng café. It’s gloomy outside. Halos gabi na at mukhang uulan pa. “I don’t know, Mal. Maybe I’ll start looking for a part time job for now so I can save for an apartment.”

She looked at me sadly. I just smiled to assure her that I’m going to be all right.

Lumabas kami ng café at agad din kaming sinalubong ng malamig na hangin. Hinaplos ko ang braso dahil medyo nagtindigan ang balahibo ko.

“I will gladly offer you my condo. Nag-aalala lang ako dahil baka hindi ka na suportahan ng tita mo financially, which is their responsibility. We are still both students... if only I can—”