i hope you're happy. •[Skephalo Short Story]• {COMPLETED!}

•Journal entry 1•

September 9, 2020, 7 days after the accident

Ever since you died in that accident one day, I felt like everything and nothing had changed. Everything, because you were gone. And nothing, because you aren't really gone. I know you're still here. I know because I hear you screaming in my mind, telling me things, shouting at me. I know you can see me for a short while, and maybe you can see me writing this. I moved in with Darryl, just thought you should know. You always hated him, were almost jealous of him in a way. Even after we started dating, you were still worried, almost as if Darryl was your competition. That's crazy. I've been crying for hours on end, every day, and Darryl has been there to comfort me. Just out of spite for you I might develop a crush on him. I'm joking. 

I'm still devastated by your leaving from this cruel world, and I know you won't rest until I do what you want. But I could never. I loved you, I still do, and I miss you. But I won't, and would never do what you're asking me to do. I couldn't. Darryl is my best friend. He's there for me. I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you when you were on your death bed. I wanted to do something, I really did. Yet when you died I wasn't even by your side. You know what, now I understand why you're haunting me, driving me insane. I was a terrible boyfriend. I now understand.

Yet you still have enough spite to stay on this world, maybe not in person, but in spirit, and telling me that you won't go away until I do what I say. Maybe it isn't my fault. 

Who am I kidding, it's always my fault. I'm sorry. I really am. I should've been in the car with you, or I should have gone myself. They wouldn't let me see you, and I really really tried to get them to. I still remember the blank face you had on, already dead on impact. Eyes open, bloodied face and head. You were declared dead as soon as paramedics arrived. It should have been me.

Darryl has been helping me through this. I've cried every day since you've been gone, I hope you know that. I really do miss you. I know you loved me. You shouldn't have. You put your trust in someone who failed you. I'm a terrible person. Please. Leave me and Darryl in peace. I can't deal with it anymore, a daily reminder of you. A reminder that you're gone. You're driving me insane. 

I love you. Isn't that enough?