Meet me in Paris

Chapter 1

When I woke up that day, I had a gut wrenching feeling.
It takes me a while to get out of bed, which explains why im almost late to everything. Im not exactly an early bird, but im not a night owl either. Some days I can't close my eyes before the sunrise and on others, im up before the sun.
For as long as I can remember, I've never had a stable home. It's always been packing and sleeping both at my mother 's or father's place.

Pulling the covers off my body, I walk barefoot to the bathroom and stare at my reflection. I have dull eyes and dark circles. My skin looks tired from my restless night.
I walk out and stare at my empty apartment with only a few boxes to pack left. My suitcases lay unzipped on the floor, reminding me that in a few hours, I will leave this place and this chapter of my life behind.

Pulling my jeans and black sweatshirt on, I slip on my checkered vans and grab my bag. I struggle to carry my 22 kilos suitcases downstairs. Unfortunately, there was no elevator in my building.

As soon as I arrive to the airport, I notice the crowd waiting at the boarding line and I sigh to myself. My phone rings twice before I get to take the call.

"Mon bébé" my mom's familiar voice greets me. " how are you feeling?"

"Im great, mom. I miss you", my voice exposes my non ability to speak. My throat is dry and I keep cracking my knuckles.

"Oh my baby. It's gonna be okay. You're a strong girl Romy"
Growing up I always believed my mom was invincible. Her voice alone was enough to make me happy or make me cry.

The flight to Paris was exhausting. Crowded flights and uncomfortable seats were not my thing. But until I could afford the stupid tickets in business class, I had to endure it.
As soon as I get my luggage, I am embraced by Ella's arms around me. Her strong figure and faint smell automatically calms me down.

She smiles " I missed my favorite bitch". I laugh at her enthusiasm. "Me too".

She's dressed in a jean skirt and red top. She's wearing her black hightop converse and her curly hair is down below her shoulders. She helps me put the luggages in the car and we drive to her apartment.
Like most apartments in Paris, there isn't an elevator. She lives on the third floor in a studio apartment. Definitely not worth the €1200, if you ask me. But it suits her.

As soon as we get through the door, her two black cats greet us.
"Im sorry it's a bit of a mess", she explains.

"As if I'd care", I laugh. I didn't, really, because its her, and because im with her and that's all that matters at this moment.

"But you do", she adds.
I chuckle, "okay maybe a little bit".

Her apartment is big enough for the both of us, but not for a long period of time. I remind myself to start looking for a place as soon as possible. Her balcony isn't high enough to see the Eiffel tower, but there's enough space to climb to the roof of the building on the right, which makes me glad paris's architecture is this condensed.

Lighting a cigarette, we sit in a bathtub barely spacious enough to fit us. Her foot is on the edge and my head keeps on knocking the water handle. She laughs at my awkwardness. I move my hand and splash her with water. She laughs at everything and her laugh makes me happy.

"Je sais pas, find a man and fall in love?", she says.

"You think that will solve my problems?", I look at her and narrow my eyes.

She exhales the smoke and looks at me, "I mean, I don't think there is something good sex and a nice guy can't fix. It's not like you've actually liked any of the guys you've dated. You should try it for once, it's called fee-lings and it makes people do stupid things for the sake of happiness"

"I know what feelings are, Ella, it's just that it comes with a huge ass package called attachment"

She looks at me with disbelief and starts laughing, "you know you're gonna have to trust people if you wanna get somewhere in life"
She grabs my hand and turn me around so my back is facing her. She grabs the shampoo bottle and start washing my hair.
I smile at her behavior, "im good I promise"

It wasn't that I didn't like people. Im unsure and moody. Somedays I answer my phone and on others I don't. Nobody deserve to be treated like this so why waste their time in the beginning.
To be honest, I never actually believe that anyone could fall in love with me- or see anything with potential. Love in general is a big thing. For me, a relationship is like a partnership, it's beneficial. And for now, I don't think I have anything to offer.