Touch

Chapter 23| Ego Tripping

Quite honestly, I think you're pathetic...

For the umpteenth time this week, her words replayed themselves in my head. They played on my conscience, bruising my ego more than I cared to admit.

She played me, and like an idiot, I fell for it every step of the way, and now, two weeks after our infamous hate-filled sex, I'm still pissed, and I crave her.

Not once have I seen her-no Amina wouldn't grant me such a reprieve-but the traces of her scent linger everywhere, and it was driving me mad.

Save for my office, it was as though the packhouse had been drenched in her intoxicating mixture of honey and cinnamon.

Everyone had the chance to see her, to speak with her, everyone but me. The more I deprived myself, the worse it got, it was like I'd entered a trance under which I swear I could taste the sweet caramel of her skin.

More often than not I'd find myself at her door, nearly succumbing to the urge to break it down. The savage part of me was answering the siren's call, and with each passing day, it was gaining on me.

I was fighting a war on many fronts-Amina, Maverick, myself-and it was tiresome and frustrating. Sleep evaded me with the same vigor as my beloved, and I spent the majority of my days sporting a hard-on that not even a cold shower could mend.

I took a seat by the crackling fire pit with a glass of whiskey in hand; after two weeks of drinking I still held out hope that it would dim the craving, but the sane part of me knew it wouldn't.

"You look like shit," Balfore said as he entered my office unannounced.

"Yeah? I feel like it too," I said as I continued to stare into the flames.

"Will you not speak to her?" He asked as he poured himself a drink.

"She avoids me, not the other way around, Balfore."

"You fucked up, man."

"How?!" I shouted as I turned away from the flames, giving him my full attention.

"I need you to be honest with yourself, what really pissed you off?

"That she put herself in danger."

"And?"

I hesitated, "That she ran from me."

"And?"

"And that that asshole touched what was mine!"

"Not good enough," he said, as he shook his head.

"What else then, my ever-wise beta?" I said with as much sarcasm as I could muster.

"Is the mighty hybrid alpha really going to make me say it?"

"Watch it," I warned; he put his hands up as if to surrender, but the smirk on his face told me he had me right where he wanted me. This situation with Amina was throwing me off of my game more than I realized.

Under any other circumstance, I would have seen him coming a mile away, but with her at the forefront of my mind, I couldn't see anything else.

"Was this what it was like with Elaine?"

"No, it was easier."

"Then why the hell do I feel like I'm navigating uncharted territory? I have no clue which way is up or down, I'm a fucking alpha, how can I be in over my head?"

"Different people, different experiences," he said as he patted my shoulder, "You're an alpha, you'll always be in over your head, it's your duty to find a way out, but being true to yourself is one way to unload unnecessary burdens."