Turned Out (Dave East)

N I N E

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SMOKE

I was 14 when I was diagnosed with Depression, they told my mom that I was bipolar and possibly OCD. She tried making me take medication but it was like they were making everything worse so I started doing drugs

Drugs worked until they wore off, then I had to face reality. Seeing shit that wasn't really there, hearing shit, feeling shit. I remember snapping multiple times I'd destroy everything in my room.

My mom could never console me or at least she never tried she'd scream "Get the fuck out my house"every single time I had my episodes

She hated that I didn't take my medicine but she just didn't understand that they made my problems worse. She felt like I was disobeying her by not taking them and so she refused to deal with me. She would just kick me out of the house and every time I came back I had to apologize for behavior I couldn't even control

I could still hear her saying"You crazy just like your dad"The word crazy punctured a nerve every time she used it, her words always cut deep

I blame her for why I had commitment issues. I truly could not trust, How could I trust a female when I can't even trust my own mom? How could I expect a female to love me when my own mom doesn't even love me?

"Smoke, can you zip this up for me?"Nae completely snapped me out of my thoughts. She stood in front of me so I could zip the back of her dress up which I did

"How do I look?"

I sat back on the couch before letting my eyes roam her body, she was slowly transforming into this sexy ass bitch I always knew she was. Her beauty was really showing all of a sudden and she was embracing it

"You look... good"I said, still staring at her

I watched her lips form a smile, I could tell she was so mesmerized over me. Anything I said had her head over hills she was falling in love, maybe I was too cause I disliked when she left my sight, now either I was overly territorial or I was just plain insecure

I started to look her up and down repeatedly. I swear my mind was conjuring up shit I've never even thought of before I realized I ain't approve of the short tight fitted dress she had on.

"I don't like what you got on though"I said under my breath

"Hm?"

"I don't like your outfit"

She tried to brush me off "Smoke stop it"

"Nae change outta' that for real"

"You're being ridiculous"

I sat back and placed my attention on my phone. A few days ago one of my songs were on the hot 100 billboard charts I found it amusing to watch everybody dick ride me and repost my songs as if they'd been fucking with me for the longest. I guess supporters were just that, supporters. But I knew who the real ones were