The Key To A New World

Chapter 9

Eight months later:

"Welcome back Lizzy!" Dr. Baker exclaimed nearly knocking me over as he leaped from his chair and wrapped me into a tight hug; it was surprisingly comforting. I laughed a little and said, "Thank you! It is good to be back!" then I changed my facial expression to a questionable look and mouthed, "When did this start?" to Shannon. She held a big smile on her face as she stood with one knee bent and her hands clasped together under her chin. "We had a serious heart to heart that helped us both. Now, we want to have a sit down with you in hopes that it helps you just as much as it helped us.

At first, I was a little confused and thought that maybe the two shacked up in my time of absence, but after talking to them I realized my initial thought was wrong. They had both opened up to each other the way a good counselor/ patient relationship should open up. It was like they were best friends and could talk about anything with complete comfort in knowing there was no judgement being tossed or thrown around. It was amazing to hear how much better Shannon had become, like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders and she was able to relax. Dr. Baker finally strayed away from the typical questions you would expect to hear from a counselor like, "And how did that make you feel?" He really listened to Shannon while she was talking. Of course, he still had his notebook and was still taking notes; that was necessary to keep track of the progress, but he was making more eye contact, laughing at the jokes, and really getting involved in the conversation! It no longer felt like a counselor's office, it was more like sitting in a friend's living room talking about life, the good and the bad; I loved it!

"So, Lizzy! Tell me, What's new!" Dr. Baker said and turned his chair to face me directly. "Has Shannon's hour already passed?" I asked confused, it did not feel like we had already been here for an hour. "Yes, now we want to know how you are doing!" Shannon answered for Dr. Baker; he did not seem to mind. "So, how are you?" He asked following Shannon's statement. "I'm ok." I said and shrugged my shoulders with a smile on my face. I loved the new vibes I was getting in the office, but I was not ready to talk about myself or my problems. "I have a question." Shannon spoke up. "What was it like in there?" She continued.

The question struck me pretty hard and I could not understand why, but I held my smile and answered her anyway. "It was odd at first, but my nurse was really cool, so I guess it wasn't too bad." I guess Dr. Baker picked up on my feelings about the question and quickly changed to subject. "Well, I heard a bunch of sirens yesterday. Have either of you heard what that was about?" Shannon and I looked at each questioning if we should talk about it or not.

I decided to speak up. "Well, Shannon and I were walking to the park laughing and joking since we were finally able to hang out again; much needed by the way. Anyway, there was a lot of commotion, cops, ambulance, the fire department, you name it. Some of the cops were directing traffic, while some were standing at the base of the city courthouse, you know the seven-story building over off 23rd street?" Dr. Baker nodded with a concentrated look on his face and I continued. "There was a woman in an ambulance uniform talking into a megaphone with it pointed up to the top of the building, everyone in the crowd was looking up there as well. Shannon and I looked at each other all confused for a second and then we looked up.

There was a man standing on the edge of the building, he was pacing back and forth, and I am not sure but it looked like he kept putting his hands over his ears. It all happened so fast. The next thing I know he disappeared from the edge of the building and everyone started cheering. I guess they thought he was going to come down; he came down alright, just not the way anyone wanted him to come down. He ran and jumped off the edge.

I was speechless and oddly emotionless. Shannon grabbed my arm tight with one hand and covered her mouth with her other hand, then hid her face behind my shoulder, but I just stood there. It felt like everything turned to slow motion while he was falling. Then it was like time stood still for a moment when he hit the ground. Oh my gosh the sound it made, just one loud thud, he bounced one time and that was it, game over." When I finished explaining everything I saw, I realized I was looking at the floor. I was seeing it all over again in my head as I was telling Dr. Baker about it. I looked up and noticed that Dr. Baker looked stunned.

"I'm sorry, too much?" I asked. "Oh, no. No, not at all." He answered shaking his head quickly as if he were trying to shake the mental image out of his head and snap back into reality at the same time. We did not take that conversation any further and again jumped to a different subject. We carried on with random conversations and before I knew it my time was up. "Well, girls I will see the two of you next week. Lizzy, I'm so glad to have you back here and see that lovely smile again!" He said and walked us to the door. "You go ahead Lizzy! I will be there in just a minute." Shannon said. 'Oh, ok." Suddenly, I felt that odd feeling of the two of them shacking up again. I figured they needed a minute to kiss each other goodbye, but when I turned around, they were just talking; I could see them through the long rectangular class on the door. Unfortunately, I was still close enough to hear what they were saying.

"Dr. Baker, we never talked about Star." Shannon mentioned. "I know, but I don't think she is ready to discuss that yet. She will talk when she is ready." He answered back trying to keep his voice down even though it did not do him any good. "She shouldn't hold it in, she needs to talk about it." Shannon pushed. "We can't push her to talk. If she does not want to talk about it, we need to respect that and let her talk when she is ready. It will be ok." He assured her. "Yea, you're right. I'm sorry. "She said and lowered her head. "There is no need to be sorry. You are concerned for your friend and that is great, but she needs to do it in her own time. Forcing her to talk will not help her at all. She has to want to talk about it."

I broke, I walked sluggishly to my car, got in, face planted my steering wheel, and burst into tears. I wished that I had not heard the conversation. I wished I were dead so I could be with Star again. I prayed for God to take me right then and there; the pain was just too much. I thought I was done crying over the loss of my best friend, but obviously I was not.