The 19 Years in Between and Beyond

Chapter 1- After the Battle

"Yeah, that's true," said Ron.

Harry was staring out towards the lake from the headmaster's office at Hogwarts. Ron and Hermione were standing behind him; he had just repaired his holly and phoenix wand using the Elder Wand.

"Anyways", said Ron, edging closer to the door, his intentions to leave already made clear, "I'll be in the Great Hall. In case you two want to have a sibling talk."

He closed the door behind him. Harry resumed his gaze towards the golden water as the sun rose, waiting for Hermione to talk.

"How do you feel now – now that Voldemort is dead?", she asked quietly.

Harry considered his feelings. "Relief mainly," he said finally, turning to face his bushy-haired friend, "and happiness as well."

He paused and then continued. "I'm relieved that I don't have to go face him again. Die again. And happy that he's gone."

"How did it feel? Knowing you had to die?", she asked. Her eyes were watery.

"It was tough," Harry admitted. "It felt really bad. I thought how I wouldn't see you all again. How I wouldn't see Voldemort gone at last.

"I want to go to Gryffindor Tower. I feel sleepy."

Hermione nodded. They left the headmaster's office. Hermione said she was going to the Great Hall to look for Ron.

He was sitting in the middle of table. Bill was beside him and. George was nowhere to be seen. Hermione took her seat next to Ron.

He was staring blankly at nothing. Tears were falling from his eyes. Hermione reached for his hand and grabbed it. Ron didn't notice.

He couldn't believe Fred was dead. It had to be a lie. It couldn't have happened. And yet, it was the grave truth.

Hermione was crying too. Get a grip, she told herself. She had to support Ron through this.

"Ron", she whispered in his ear. "Come."

Ron took a second to register that Hermione had stood up and was communicating to him to do the same by the pulling him by the hand.

Hermione guided him through the Hall. Daily Prophet reporters were swarming into the castle. They were determined to get the story of the Dark Lord's death.

Ron and Hermione attracted the journalists' attentions but Hermione acted like a Patronus to a Dementor and they strode through the Entrance Hall and they went down by the lake under a tree. The tree where she, Ron and Harry had spent time doing homework. And though she didn't know it, the tree close to the place James had once lifted Snape by the ankle for Sirius's entertainment.

She sat him down under the shade of the tree. She put herself down beside him and put an arm around Ron's shoulder just like he had done to her so many times. She put her head on his shoulder.

They sat in silence, watching the sun rise over the lake. It was a beautiful view; the sun turning the sky golden which was reflected onto the cold, clear water. Memories found their way to the minds of both. Their first year, when they had rowed across with Hagrid and the fourth year, being down in the lake themselves as victims of the second task of the Triwizard Tournament. Ron as Harry's most treasured and Hermione as Viktor Krum's...

"Ron", Hermione whispered into Ron's ear. "Open up."

Ron broke down completely and Hermione felt saddened and terrified. She had never seen Ron cry like this ever before.

"F – Fred", he stammered.

Hermione mustered up all the courage she could and then spoke clearly into Ron's ear.

"Ron, I don't think Fred would've wanted you to be crying over him. He would probably want you to relive the best memories of you and him. He wouldn't have wanted anyone crying because of him. Be brave Ron," she said squeezing his hand. Her eyes were watering again but she wiped away the new tears with her free hand.

Ron wiped away his tears. Then he said in a quivering voice, "It's not just that."

He wanted to kick himself as soon as he muttered the words. He didn't want to reveal just how insecure he felt. Especially not to the person he loved.

"What is it Ron?", she whispered. When he didn't reply, she said, "Talk about it Ron, it'll help you."

Ron looked away from Hermione determinedly. Hermione knew he wouldn't budge, so she started talking herself.

"You know when I was small, before I knew I was a witch, when I used to go to a Muggle school, I used to get bullied. And this is worse than everything your brothers have probably put you through."

She was sobbing uncontrollably onto Ron's shoulder but went on in a steady voice.

"Everyone used to bully me. Pull my hair, ruin my books, steal my things, insult me. But I was determined to focus on what the teachers were teaching. I tried to not let them get to me. But they always managed to. I used to come home and go straight into my room and cry for an hour. I had no friends to comfort me and I didn't tell my parents about my issues.

"I was so foolish. I had to tell somebody. I had to open up or I would die in my own problems. I motivated myself to beat those idiots in every exam which of course I did with ease. But I still had no friends. I was boring, unbearable, an insufferable know-it-all.

"Then McGonagall came to our house suddenly. She explained how I was a witch and about Hogwarts and everything. My parents were pleased. I was thinking that I'd probably have friends at last.

"I met you and Harry in that compartment. I had this urge to somehow make you my friends. Somehow be accepted by somebody at last. But you were cold towards me. I remember you calling me a 'nightmare'. That 'I hope she realizes she has no friends.'

"I felt like everything was done. I was going to be lonely all life long. I remember feeling like I should have killed myself long ago. And then that troll came in and transformed my life. And you and Harry locked in in with me. I thank you for that. Because if hadn't nearly killed me, I probably wouldn't be here.

"So open up Ron. It'll do you a lot of good. Trust me."

A minute in silence and then –

"I don't feel like I deserve you."

Hermione felt bad. She was speechless for some time. Then forming words in her mind, she whispered into Ron's ear.

"Why?"

Ron started flowing his thoughts out.

"Everyone treats me like I'm an overemotional toddler. Even my parents don't love me as much as they do to Bill or Charlie or Percy or – or George. I'm a failed attempt at a girl child, Hermione. I heard my mother say that to Muriel when I was eight and that isn't a good feeling. I'm not nearly as intelligent as you, as skilled. I don't have tact; I make you cry all the effing time. I hurt everyone all the stupid time. I'm careless – "

"R - Ron", Hermione said, not trying to hide her tears, her voice breaking.

"– not as cool as you like. My brothers are better than me. Much better. Even Harry," he finished, tears pouring down silently from his eyes.

"Ron, why, why do you think of yourself like that?", whispered Hermione, hoarsely. "You make me laugh Ron. Nobody else makes me do that. You love me and I love you back Ron. And trust me, if you were there instead of Fred, your family would feel as bad as now. Apart from my parents, there is nothing I love more in the world. So trust me Ron; you deserve me."

She wiped away her tears and then Ron's. Sheturned his head towards her and kissed him softly. Then she stood up and pulledRon up with amazing strength. She put her arm around him and the two walkedback to the castle.