Stalker (Cryle)

A reason worth living for

Warn: mentions of suicide and self harm

Craig's POV
I felt someone's tiny fingers poking my arm. I opened my eyes to see Kyle's big green eyes staring at me, the best thing to wake up to. "Craig...you fell asleep." He poked me again. "Oh...uh...sorry, I-...it wasn't done on purpose." He just chuckled at my response. "It's okay, you needed to rest anyway."

I looked out on the window, it was pretty quiet out there, no people on the streets, just like in a zombie apocalypse movie. "Why did we stop?" He shrugged. "I don't know, but I woke you up, because I thought that maybe we could get off here and continue our journey otherwise." I nodded. Considering that I would be ready to die for this guy, getting off of a train seems nothing. Would I die for him though? Yes, I think I would. At this point life and death mean nothing but overused words to me. I'm just happy to finally find something that makes my days less dark and boring. Life to other people is like running a marathon, you're focusing on the finish line. But I was born in the finish line, meaning that I can't achieve anything in life because I don't have goals to achieve. And sure, running the marathon is a pain in the ass, but when you're finally done, you're not happy because it's over, because you're in the finish line, you're happy because you made it and didn't give up. But how can you even start running if you aren't even sure where the end is?

Just as we got off the train, it started to move and continued it's way. I watched it slo disappear into the distance. "Woah, this place is pretty empty." Kyle spoke as we started walking around. I don't think it was even a town, it was crowded by tall, industrial buildings and abandoned, old factories. It could've been some sort of big works back in it's better days, but now it's just a dead town. Not a single soul anywhere, just some messy graffitis showed that people actually know that this place exists.

"I like it, it's so disturbing." Kyle smiled like he was some kind of tourist, and these grey buildings were famous or something. I strangely felt connected with there buildings, I wasn't fascinated by them, like Kyle was. No, it was something different, the boring grayness reminded me of my previous life. That's how everything felt back then, blank and empty, it didn't made me feel anything.

We turned in a corner and got to a small lake. Well, it wasn't really a lake, it was probably just there for industrial uses or something. The water in it was dark and thick from all the oil and dirt, some trash was swimming in the surface. Kyle walked closer to the water and sat down to the ground. "So cool!" I sat down next to him, not saying anything. The place made me feel strange, it brought back a lot of memories from the days before I found Kyle.

For a few moments we sat there, not saying anything just staring at the dirty water. I wanted to tell Kyle how I felt, if he's the reason I wake up every morning, I want to be honest with him. But wouldn't he think that I'm weird? Wouldn't he push me away? I wanted to talk but hesitated, to this point I still don't know if not saying those things was a good choice or a very bad one.

Long story short, Kyle spoke before I could decide what to say. "Craig..." His unbreakable happiness faded away, he had a serious expression on his face. His eyes glared at me, he studied my face with that look again, like he did a few days ago in school. The look that makes me feel like a porcelain doll who can break in any minute, the look that tells that he's afraid of losing me. "Why did you come with me?" He quietly asked, at that moment he felt like the person he used to be a few days ago. The 'old Kyle' or at least that's what people say, the shy Kyle who was afraid to show his real self. I don't think he ever changed, I don't think there's such a thing as 'old Kyle' and 'new Kyle', he will always be him. His whole life he was trying to be someone else, but it didn't work, no matter how hard, you try you will always stay you.