Back To You [editing]

Chapter 3 - Sophie

I want to run to him, hug him when I see him smile but I stare at the floor bracing for the tears to show- but I fight against them.

I can't cry now.

"What are you doing here?" I decide, still looking at the floor.

"Sophie you do know it's been four years. Right? So no: 'Hey, Keefe! How you doing?'" Keefe asks, chuckling. "I wouldn't mind a hug, too. You know?"

I look up and stare into his stunning blue eyes- for the first time in 4 years- but instead of that familiar glint in his eyes- they are filled with hurt. I want to say sorry, but I can't.

I don't deserve him.

"What are you doing here?" I repeat my heart in my throat.

"I... wanted to see you, it's been four-" Keefe begins, his face twisted in confused expression.

"It doesn't matter," I have this stupendous lump in my throat and I looked away. "Just go."

No, please don't. But still, I don't deserve him.

Keefe steps forward.

"But Sophie-"

"Please," I have tears in my eyes now.

"Sophie are you... why are you guilty?" Keefe asks calmly and then turns serious. "You'll-"

Break

"Yeah, I know," I say, blinking away the tears. I want to pour out all my feelings so badly.

I want to talk to someone so badly now.

But I can't.

"I bet everyone is glad that I- the stupid, dumb, moonlark is out of their hair. You should-"

"Sophie everyone thinks you're dead!" Keefe blurts.

I turn my head to face him.

"What?" I whisper while Keefe scratches his neck a little red from his own outburst.

"They think you're dead," Keefe says, stepping forward while I step back.

"I...." I am speechless.

That's perfect.

They think I'm dead.

They don't worry about me.

"I know-"

"I'm glad I totally deserve to be dead. I'm surprised I'm not dead yet." I decide, but quickly regret it when I see Keefe's disconsolate expression. I step back but collide with the wall.

"No, you don't deserve to be dead, Sophie," Keefe says, tranquility. "Why on earth would you think that?"

"Because I KILLED 124 elves! They're dead. So I should be too!" I snap, shaking my head.

I lose it.

Keefe steps forward while I try to step backwards but I'm already against the wall.

"Sophie it isn't your fault," Keefe says, steps forward again. His tranquil gaze makes me feel restful.

Sophie, it isn't your fault.

Sophie, it isn't your fault.

Sophie, it isn't your fault.

I repeated those words in my head.

I looked away.

It is.