the ghosts that haunt me are versions of myself
young people unsure of their identity
lost in time and meaning
they haunt me
they stick with me and tell me i'm not who i am
they lie and stare and make me feel ashamed
the ghosts that haunt me have been here for a long time.
it's unfair that i didn't summon them
no spirit board was used
no graveyard had been visited
but they have their hands around my neck so i can't talk, waiting carefully for me to slip up so they can possess me
some days they make me feel unreal
like i'm clinging onto bits of reality
there's an imposter in this room
that isn't me!
what does grass feel like? what does your voice sound like?
i'm lost...
trying to remember the smell of rain on an autumn day but i can't
now i have lost meaning
...
and just like that...they go away
my body is my own again
there are spirits that want to take over my body
and maybe if i'm lucky one day they'll disappear and sit in their lonely house, waiting for it to collapse
