Chapter 6
-before you read, I want to give a slight trigger warning. Talk of depression. It's not too bad but I thought I should warn you-
Enjoy~
Brandon's POV
I stared as Nikki ran out of the room, tears streaming down her face. I moved to race after her when I heard a voice from the front of the room, "Leave her," mrs Kincaid said solemnly
I stared at her in confusion.
"You saw?" I asked feeling slightly embarrassed.
She nodded and walked up to the table Nikki and I shared. "Just... Give her some time to cool off. You seemed to have hurt her quite a bit."
I shook my head and looked down, "I didn't mean it," I whispered.
She nodded, "I know that. But you both need to calm down. You can apologize when or if she returns."
"I had planned to talk to her during lunch today anyway... Hopefully she'll listen."
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I rushed out of the classroom and towards the library, wishing and hoping she would show up. Not that I was expecting it. I had no right to ask anything of her at the moment. All I needed was to talk to her and explain.
When I arrived, she wasn't there. I waited for fifteen minutes before leaving to go to the lunchroom. She wasn't there either.
"Chloe!" I exclaimed upon seeing Nikki's best friend talking with Marcus next to the entrance where they seemed to have bumped into each other.
"Hi Brandon!" Chloe said turning to face me.
"Where's Nikki?" I asked desperately.
"She went home sick, said she had a headache," she responded looking concerned.
"Shit," I mumbled. I didn't curse often. I usually waited until I was home with no one to hear me.
"Is everything alright?" Marcus asked.
I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, "Just peachy," I replied sarcastically before heading out the cafeteria doors and through the hallway. I bolted out the front door and into the cool breeze of afternoon. I sighed and moved to lean against the dusty bricks that lined the outside of the building. I screamed in frustration and hit my palm against the wall.
I was such an idiot. I'm always able to control it. Especially around her. Why of all days did it have to be today with her. I finally had the courage to ask her out.
The tears streamed down my face as I hiccoughed. I had to go talk to her. I slowly moved my head from the wall and started walking down the sidewalk, not caring whether I got in trouble for ditching. All I cared about was talking to Nikki.
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I stood before the white painted slab of wood that made up Nikki's front door. I pressed my finger to the door bell and waited not so patiently as I heard footsteps shuffling and the muffled sound of a voice saying "Coming."
The door flung open to reveal a tired-looking Nikki. She had small bags under her red tear-stained eyes.
"Brandon?" She said quietly while holding onto the door frame for support.
"Can we talk?" I asked hopefully while biting my lip.
She looked around a bit before giving a small nod.
"I guess..." She moved out of the doorway so I could step in. I shut the door as she made her way into the loving room. As I walked in I noticed Nikki scrambling to pick up tissues from the floor. I slowly walked over to the couch and sat down. She turned to face me and slowly walked over to sit next to me.
She turned to look at me,"Shouldn't you be at school?" She asked.
"I had to come talk to you, when Chloe told me you had gone home sick..." I took in a deep breath. "Let's just say I have a lot to tell you,"
She nodded. Didn't say anything, just nodded.
"First, I wanted to apologize, I am so sorry. I didn't mean a word that I said," I reached over to take her hand, "I DO need you, I'm a total asshole and you reserve every right to hate me," I squeezed her hand before moving on.
"Now I'm going to tell you why, not that it's an excuse, you just deserve to know." she nodded.
I took in another deep breath, "when I was eleven, my parents and I were going to see a movie. It was snowing and the roads were super icy. We never should have gone out that day, but I insisted. As we were driving, a car slid on the ice and crashed into the car. It fell into a ditch and landed upside down..." I looked over at Nikki to see a forlorn look on her face.
"My parents died that day. Afterwards my grandma and grandpa took me in, although you know them as Betty and Phil. A few months after the funeral, I started to get depressed and I blamed their deaths on myself. I constantly cried and sometimes punched or kicked walls.
My grandparents soon made me see a therapist. They told me I was bipolar- do you know what that is?" I turned to see that Nikki had tears welling up in her eyes but she only nodded. "We worked together and I learned to control my anger and depression and to be positive. It was really hard but I did learn. I still see him once a month to stay in check. I am usually so good at controlling it Nikki, I usually end up holding it in and waiting until I get home. But I guess I was just more stressed out than usual."
Nikki moved closer to me, squeezing my hand tighter. It was then that I noticed that I was crying.
"There was a lot going on and I guess I just lost it..."
Two arms had somehow found their way around me and I leaned into Nikki's soft embrace.
"I'm so sorry Nikki, will you forgive me?" I whispered.
She gave me a soft smile and wrapped her arms tighter around me. "You were forgiven the moment I saw you on the door step."
I pulled away and looked into her eyes. "So I'm guessing you have a few questions?"
She nodded, but looked at me questioningly to make sure It was okay.
"Ask away."
"What exactly happened that you had to got to therapy, I mean I know you said you were depressed but was there some thing that made you know you had to go?"
I took in a deep breath. I've never actually told anyone about this before.
"Well... On my twelfth birthday, my grandparents planned a huge birthday party for me. But when I saw everything, I got angry. I thought about how if I hadn't been born, my parents wouldn't be dead," I took in another deep breath for the thousandth time that day. "And I tried to kill myself." I heard Nikki's gasp as she covered her mouth with her hands. Tears started streaming out of her eyes and she hugged me once again, this time harder and tighter.
"Brandon," I could hear the sobs emanating from her throat. I pressed my hands the small of her back and placed my chin at the back of her neck.
After about five minutes of crying we finally pulled apart.
"But I'm a lot better now, Nikki, you don't have to worry about me," I leaned into to give her a small kiss on her forehead.
"Well, if anything ever happens, Brandon, anything at all, tell me and I'll help you as best as I can, okay?" She placed a hand on my shoulder. I nodded.
"Brandon, do you wanna stay here for the rest of the day, just until school is over?" Nikki asked, a small blush rising to her tear-stained cheeks.
I smiled at the offer and nodded.
"So what movie do you wanna watch?" She asked as I settled against the back of the couch.
