Guardians of Freecaster High #1
"That doesn't make any sense. You were the one who left me. You didn't care anymore."
"If I didn't care, Alexis, then why is it I can't touch another girl unless I'm imagining you?" He pushes against me, trapping me a...
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I have to do this. There's no going back. If there's one thing I learned yesterday as Jace was trying to get a rise out of me, is that he has a point. I don't wanna be with Derek, and as much as I'm dreading doing this, I can't lead him on. He doesn't deserve that and I don't wanna be that person.
Clutching the strap of my bag, I walk out of school partly happy it's Friday and partly swimming in guilt from what I have to do. Derek's Charger is parked upfront, as usual, and within eyeshot of where Jace's bike is seated. If I do this fast, I can be gone before him and the guys get here.
Rechecking over my shoulder to make sure no one's behind me, I shake my head feeling ridiculous. The whole point of leaving class early with a note from the 'principal' was so Derek and I could have some time before the parking lot flooded with other students. No one's behind me, it's just us for the next few minutes.
As I approach Derek's car, he jumps out of the driver seat with a half-smile and dark sunglasses on his face.
"Hey," he says cautiously.
We haven't spoken since Monday when he caught me on the back of Jace's bike. I gave him his space like he asked, but there's no point now. I've decided for us.
"Hey."
He leans against his door and nods for me to lean beside him. "So, you wanted to talk?"
Leaning next to him, I twist the strap on my shoulder as mountain-sized rocks drop into my gut. "Yeah...I wanted to talk about us."
"Wait." He stands up and faces me. "Let me say something first."
"No, Derek..."
He places a hand up to silence me. "Please, Lex, let me say this."
No, no, no. I don't have long to do this, and letting him spill his heart out is only gonna make this that much harder.
"Derek..."
"Lexi!" He snaps, pushing his sunglasses onto his head and pinning me with a desperate stare. "I hate that you're friends with your ex. It's been fucking driving me nuts all week. Even if you think you're just friends, he doesn't and he's not gonna stop until he gets what he wants."
"How would you know?" I shake my head. "You don't even know Jace."
Derek's eyes cast down, guilt written in the hang of his head. "I talked to someone."
"Who?"
"That doesn't matter." He shakes his head. "What matters is that I'm asking you to pick me. We've been doing this dance for almost a year now. I've been patient, more so than anyone else would've been, but I need an answer. Pick me. Please."
Damn.
Invisible claws tear at my chest sending waves of guilt and pain through my heart. It's suffocating and standing here listening to Derek is only tightening the hold around my lunges.
