Im completely fucking scared. You hurt me so much and you dont even fucking try. I hate that nothing makes me happier and nothing makes me sadder than you. I hate you for getting here in my fucking vision and playing around with the pieces i was carrying in my hands as i tried to pick up the broken ones that i have been trying to put back together to fix myself. You're trying to get me to trust you with those pieces but when you seem to handle it delicately and i begin to want to trust you, you just begin to do something that scares me that you'll break it more. That you'll mess around and all i can do is silently watch in terror and prepare myself to see those already broken pieces become more broken than they already are. All i can do is prepare to kick you out and put more walls up because im sure ill end up getting hurt once again by someone that only uses me for their own benefits . For the advice, for the fall back and all to make me stupid enough to believe that maybe this time someone actually cares for me.
When you hurt me, i dont know if ill run and cry or numb myself in time so that i can say the reality of my feelings.. "im used to it".
Im really confused. What did i do wrong? Im such a terrible person. This is all my fault. Us falling apart the way we are is my fault. Im sorry.
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The Reality
RandomHere are a couple of paragraphs which describe how i feel. These are my thoughts that often occur at midnight or 3 am. Just because... why not share them..?
