That Day On The Beach

Flashbacks

As we walked out of Blueberry's, after having almost three cups of coffee, Asher's curiosity got the better of him.

"So..." he began, "Can we talk about it now?"

"Talk about what?" I asked, as if I didn't have any idea.

"You know what."

I sighed. "Ash, not now, please."

"Rachel this is important, we don't know who he is. Why would he want to sit with you? What were his intentions?", Asher frowned.

I laughed a little. Right, why would he want to sit with me?

"Ash you heard him! he's new here. Give him a few days and he'll not even care to look at me."
It didn't feel good to say that at all, feeling invisible is not something you can ever get used to.

Asher was not convinced by that.

"Rachel he could be dangero --"

"If you say 'dangerous' right now I'll kill you Asher Young", I snapped, throwing him a hard look. "Stop being so overanxious like mom, you're driving me nuts."

"Maybe. But I'm definitely driving you home today."

I remembered that he was not able to bring his car. Who could've punctured the tires?

I took out my car keys from my pocket.
"My car, I drive," I said, dangling the keys in front of him.

He rolled his eyes. "C'mon Rage, you're intoxicated", he said. On seeing my confused look he added "By caffeine."

I stuck out my tongue at him, feeling like a three year old. He did the same, making a funnier face to distract me as he snatched the keys from my hand.

"You're such a child." I slapped his arm and got into the passenger seat, shutting the door with a bang.

He got in and said, "So are you", before turning on the engine.

"True Friend" was being played on the F.M.

We looked and each other at the same time and laughed.

I stared out of the window, it was drizzling.
I thought how much this friendship means to me, and how much pain it must've cost him once. Still, he had not left me, neither have I made him do so. It was selfish, keeping him with me for my happiness, as my medicine for every pain.

And yet, I wanted to be selfish. I wanted to hear his carefree laugh, I wanted him to make me laugh too. I wanted him as my brother, rather than my best friend.

I may have been selfish in not letting him go, but I was never so in loving him. I would always love him, even if he leaves me, which I guess he eventually would.

But for now, I wanted to enjoy the moments we had. Every time he laughed, my happiness suddenly overcame my guilt.

Maybe, as long as there's no damage done, being a little selfish now and then is okay.

-------*-------*-------

About five months ago, when Asher was in 9th grade, he came up to my house one day, looking as if he was about to burst with excitement.

"Rach-h-h-h!" he banged open the door of my bedroom, shocking the shit out of me. I was watching a steamy romance series on my laptop. I quickly shut it down.

I was not going out much those days, Asher came to visit frequently, but that day he was unusually excited.

"What the hell Asher!" I shouted at him. "Can't you knock for once in your life!"