ZONNIQUE'S POV
I was downstairs in the kitchen getting cooking lessons from Ms. Sheila. I know that August and I aren't together anymore, but I'd still like to know how to cook some of the things he liked. Mostly because I also enjoyed eating them. Her fried chicken was to die for. Ava was sitting in her play pen off to the side watching us curiously while sucking on her paci.
"Your grease can't be too hot na' baby, alright?" She glanced over at me.
"Mhm..." I nodded, watching her drop the chicken into the grease.
"Mama!" Ava shouted.
"Yes swee--"
"Nuh uh!" Ms. Sheila stopped me from answering her. "She's fine in her play pen. That's why you can't get her to stay in there back home. If you go takin' her out every time she call you she just gone call the minute you put her in." She explained. "Don't take her out till you feel like takin' her out."
I didn't feel comfortable ignoring my baby, but Ms. Sheila did have a point. I also know she wouldn't steer me in the wrong direction. Besides, she's raised three kids herself, and helped with her three grandchildren. She had experience. I, on the other hand, don't.
"Now while that's cookin' we can sit down and talk." She wiped her hands on her apron and took a seat at the table.
I sat down at the table with her and nervously looked around. I knew what Ms. Sheila meant by talk wasn't just regular talk.
"How have you and August been gettin' along?" She asked me.
See.
"We're fine." I stated, rubbing my sweaty palms on my jeans. "Juuuust fine."
"Been arguing a lot?" She questioned.
"No." I shook my head. "I mean, we have disagreements here and there. But not many big blowouts like we used to. I guess because we're not around each other twenty four seven anymore."
"Mm... That's good." She nodded. "You know, you never told me how you felt about the breakup."
"I know... I just don't like talking about it." I sighed. "I think we should check on the chicken it--"
"The chicken is fine." She chuckled. "I'm not August. You can't pull a fast one on me."
"I'm not ready to talk about that." I bit the inside of my cheek.
"And you'll probably never be ready, but the longer you keep your feelings bottled up, the longer it'll be before you can move on." She stated.
"Keeping it in is just how I cope." I looked down at my lap. "If I just don't talk about it then I can pretend like it never even happened. You know?"
"Honey, you can't erase a part of your life." She stated.
"I know. I just..." I sighed. "I miss him a lot. It feels like I'm missing something and I feel empty without him. It's weird not having him around."
"I understand sweet pea." She sighed. "Have you tried to talk to August about how you feel?"
"No..." I shook my head. "He tries to talk about it often, but I tell him that I don't want to talk about it."
"The best way to stop feeling so upset about something is to talk to the source of the problem or pain." She stated. "Talk to him, baby. He'll be understanding."
"No he won't." I ran my fingers through my hair. "He just wants to hop back into our relationship and I'm not ready to make that step. When I tell him that, he'll just get irritated and start being a jerk. I'm not saying he starts all of our arguments, but that's how most of them start."
