Love's Rapture

Talon

"It was nice of her to invite us to the gym yesterday. Now you won't look as bad as you already do when we show up there," Robby said from beside me. We were eating chips and pizza again.

"I get it!" I yelled. I'd finally had enough of his taunting. "I get that you think I'm insane, but I don't care. I'm at this college for three reasons, and she happens to be one of them. That doesn't make me a bad person. I wish you'd hurry up and get a girlfriend so you'd stop being so worried about my love life."

"Alright, man, I'm sorry, jeez!"

"I'm just sick of you making me feel like I'm about to get carted away to jail."

"To be fair, you've gone out of your way, being near Kelly when you don't even know if she likes you."

I growled in frustration. "I know, but I can't go ask her out right now. I want her to trust me again, and I don't know when that will happen. I completely betrayed her."

"Again, to be fair, she was talking to your dead brother."

I leaned over the space that separated us on the living room floor and punched him in the arm with as much force as I could.

"Ow!" he yelled. "What the heck?"

"Comments like that are exactly why she'll choose to hate me forever!"

"She isn't here!"

"But maybe she will be one day," I said. I hoped.

Robby stood and dusted the chip crumbs off his pants and onto the floor. We needed to buy a vacuum because if anyone in their right mind walked in here and saw this mess, they'd be disgusted.

"I'm going to my room," I said when I stood. I caught myself dusting the crumbs from my shorts onto the floor and grimaced. We needed a vacuum. Why didn't anyone tell me I would need one when I moved out?

"Me too. I'm probably going to crash."

I walked into my room and laid down on my bed. Memories swirled in my mind, and I was sucked into one of my favorite ones before I could stop it.

I'd just finished practice when I noticed her walking around behind the field, close to a tree cluster. She had her phone out and played a song, but I was too far away to hear what it was. I was mesmerized because she was dancing. The only other people around were the few guys left over from the football team, and Kelly Murphy looked like she was dancing with the trees.

I wanted to look away because this was so wrong of me; I couldn't be in love with my brother's girlfriend. She was beautiful in a physical sense and an emotional one. She could smile about anything, and it was like I was a moth sucked into the raging fire that would end me.

I thought about my notebook and how I wished to write about what I saw in her dance.

She stopped, and I noticed she was staring at me. It took a few seconds, but that smile graced her lips, and she waved. I felt the corners of my mouth start to rise, but was interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Babe," Breton yelled. Her eyes left me and fell on him, and I realized the smile she'd given me was only a fraction of what she gave to him. Her entire posture changed when he was near her. She was bubbly and free, and with that emotion, she jumped into his arms, and he spun her around. Just like he should have, perfectly executed his entrance to her dance, and when she looked my way again, I knew she saw the hatred in my eyes.

What she didn't understand was that I'd been directing all that hatred toward myself. I loathed myself for being able to want something that meant the world to my big brother. All I wanted was for him to be happy, and she was what made him happy.

I sighed, staring at my ceiling. I always tried to forget that last part, but it's like my subconscious loved to torture me with memories of how badly I'd treated Kelly.

I was glad when I was interrupted by my phone ringing.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey, Tally," Mom's voice came over the line. She sounded as if she'd been crying, and I instantly felt guilty for leaving her, even if it was only a few hours away.

"Hey, Mom, are you alright?"

"I'm doing good. I was calling to see how you were settling into your apartment."

"Well, other than the lack of vacuum cleaner, it's been great. I started working at Parker's coffee shop with Robby, and I rechecked to make sure I have all my books for classes."

"That's great, honey, I'm glad Parker gave you both a job. I'll have to thank him next time I see him." Mom said, then laughed at something Dad said in the background.

"Dad wants to know if you've had the chance to talk to Kelly any," she laughed again, and I smiled. If it made my mom laugh, I didn't care if she made fun of my crush.

"Yeah, we've talked a couple of times. She even invited me to work out at the same gym as her."

"I'm glad you two are friends again," she said. She already sounded happier than she did at the beginning of the phone call, and I finally relaxed back into my bed.

"Me too," I debated continuing the conversation about Kelly, but I knew my mom wanted to hear about it. "She's still beautiful."

"Is she still doing her painting?"

"Yeah, Parker has a bunch of her work hanging in the cafe."

"You'll have to tell her we still have that one she did for us hanging in the living room."

My chest ached. My parents were referring to a painting Kelly had done a few months after Breton drown. It was of him laying in the tall grass of their favorite field. I decided I would only talk about the painting if she asked.

"Have you talked to Jericho?"

She sighed. "Your brother is moving back home."

That was shocking. Jericho was only four years older than me and had gotten married a year after graduating high school.

"Jer and Lori are moving in with you guys?"

"According to your brother, they both decided to get a divorce. They're going about it peacefully, so I don't know what happened."

"That's so weird," I said. I couldn't wrap my head around it. Sure, I never thought they were a love connection, but it was still weird that they were getting divorced after only three years of marriage.

"He's moving in next week sometime," she said.

"Well, at least you'll have someone to fuss over," I tried sounding reassuring.

"That's what your dad said," she laughed. "I guess I'll let you get back to whatever you're doing."

"Okay, Mom, I love you."

"Love you, too. Maybe we can come to visit soon."

"I'd love that," I replied. "Talk to you later."

"Bye, hun."

I hung up and set my alarm before plugging my phone in. I was already looking forward to work tomorrow morning.