Love's Rapture

Kelly: November

It had been a month since I'd ended my relationship with Talon. I'd expected to feel relieved as time went on, but I felt even worse. My whole family was back at my parents, meaning there was nothing short of screaming, running, and crazy fun times happening everywhere. And I was in a funk.

Pop had decided to give chemo a little bit of time. He looked exhausted after only a few treatments. The night before Thanksgiving, he was sitting on the back deck watching everyone play football, chuckling to himself when I decided to join him. He held out his arm, and I tucked myself close to his side.

"How are you doing, Kelly Girl?" he asked.

I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed. "I'm doing good. How are you feeling?"

He harrumphed. "Not you too."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Ivy has been fussing all over me since she got here. All I want to do is have a normal conversation without talking about doctors or treatments or natural remedies."

"What?" I asked, shocked. "Ivy said there's a natural remedy to cancer?"

Pop burst out laughing. It felt wrong, but he was the one who was sick, so I guess it was up to him if he wanted to laugh about it.

"Not Ivy. There's a group of young ladies in Taylorsville now, and they're into all that herbal junk. They keep bringing me these little things to plug into the wall. Bunch of fairy fart if you ask me."

It was my turn to laugh. "Pop, are you talking about essential oil diffusers?"

"How should I know?"

"They're not the cure for cancer, but they do have their uses."

"That's the same thing that pink-haired pip-squeak said the other day."

"Aunt Sam is right," I said with a grin. "And I'm telling her you called her a pip-squeak."

We sat in silence for a few minutes until Pop said, "Your mom told me that you were dating again. She said it was one of those Finch boys, the youngest one?"

I nodded, unable to respond vocally.

"But you broke up," he said rather than asked.

"Yes," I whispered.

"Can you tell me why? The truth."

I had to give myself a few seconds to swallow down enough emotion to be able to speak. "Um," I started, pausing again. "I'm scared, Pop. The day Mom and Dad called to tell us about you, it was like I could see all these horrible things playing out. I didn't even mean to imagine it, but I could see me losing you and my parents and siblings. And then I could see myself losing him, you know? I asked myself why I would choose to care about so many people and put myself at even more risk of losing someone. I mean, the more people I love, the more likely I am to lose someone, right?"

Pop was silent for so long that I started to fidget. When I glanced up at him, he looked like he was fighting tears. "Oh, Pop! Please don't cry! I never in a million years meant to upset you!"

He shook his head. "I'm more upset at the idea of you missing out on something monumental than anything."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Your mom was in her twenties when I finally opened myself up to the idea of spending life with someone. I was a single dad for so long that I got lost in my role as a father and provider, and I didn't realize how lonely I was. Then Maria came into my life, and if I wouldn't have bugged the living daylights out of her, I may not have a wife today."