Embracing The Dauntless Fear [✓]

Kabanata 37

"Kailan mo balak bumalik ng Manila?"

Marahan ang bawat haplos ko kay Queeny. Bahagya akong nangiti nang makita ko ang dahan-dahan niyang pagpikit dahil sa bawat haplos ko. Ang bawat paghinga niya ay dumadapo sa aking hita. Her hair were soft and smells good. It feels so good against my palm.

She's old. She's been with me since I was in eight grade. She's so lucky that she is still alive right now. Wala pang sakit at hindi nanghihina. I'm so happy that she's still strong. I don't know what to do if something bad happens to her. I'll bring her with me in New York. I'll bring her wherever I want.

"Maybe next week. I texted Ate Francy about it and she's cool with that. Si Mama lang naman ang nangungulit," aniya.

Ngumiwi ako sa pagbanggit niya sa kaniyang ina. Huminto na ako sa paghaplos kay Queeny at tamad na tiningnan si Fear. Nakapangalumbaba siya sa bilog na lamesa ng garden habang nakatitig sa akin.

"I can see that your Mom is really uptight. Maybe she likes Chaiya for you," I said bitterly.

Tinanggal ko ang aking paningin sa kaniya nang kumunot ang kaniyang noo roon at umayos sa pagkakaupo. Pagilid akong tumikhim nang iurong niya papalapit sa akin ang upuan niya at sinubukang hulihin ang aking mga mata.

I just stated a fact though. His Mom hated me so much. She doesn't want Fear to remember me. She wanted to make her son marry someone else. She took advantage of his son's situation. I find it selfish but I couldn't judge her since she's the Mom... and I'm what? An ex.

"If she likes her, I don't care. Wala namang magagawa si Mama. Matagal na niyang alam kung sino ang mahal ko," he said a bit tense.

I nodded. "I know. But who can tell? Baka... kahit hindi tayo nagkahiwalay noon, maghihiwalay pa rin tayo. Baka may isa sa ating nagloko o nagsawa na," I said languidly.

"No. I don't think so," he said seriously.

I looked at him with my brow rose up. Ngumuso ako nang mapansin ko ang pagkislap ng iritasyon sa kaniyang mga mata. I chuckled then stared at him intently.

"How do you say so? I'm playful. Malay mo naghanap ako ng iba," I smiled.

"Hindi mangyayari 'yan. Kung posible 'yang sinasabi mo, bakit hanggang ngayon mahal mo pa rin ako?" pagmamayabang niya.

Napakurap ako roon at hindi nakapagsalita sa pagkamangha. I was just giving him realistic examples. Though, he got me there. Hinding-hindi ko magagawa sa kaniya iyon. Mahal ko na siya dati pa. Pakiramdam ko nga ay hindi na ako magsasawa sa kaniya.

And how confident?

"And... it'll never happen. If you really fell out of love or you got tired of me. Hindi ako papayag. I'd do everything to make you fall for me again... and I'll make you more tired... in a different way," he said with his playful eyes.

I scowled at him. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin at muling binalikan ang paghaplos kay Queeny. Pakiramdam ko umuusok na ang mga pisngi at tainga ko. He couldn't just shut his mouth. Hindi ba siya naiilang sa akin? Nalayo kami sa isa't-isa ng ilang taon. But still, he still have the guts to throw green remarks?

"Fear!" Sigaw ko at pilit siyang tinulak nang bigla niya akong yakapin.

He chuckled as he buried his face on my neck. Bumuntong-hininga ako at tumigil na sa pagsubok na itulak siya nang magising si Queeny at napatingin sa amin. Kinagat ko ang aking labi. Ang malakas na pintig ng aking puso ay nagdulot ng malakas na lindol sa buong sistema ko. Halos hindi ako makahinga.

"Fear... I told you to give me time!" I exclaimed.

"You can have all the time in this world, baby," he said softly.