mine first

•8•

[3 months later]

"Hey, Natalie, Brandon. Can I talk to you both?" Mr. Hayes asks.

Brandon and I stop and turn around as everyone else walks out of his classroom. Usually when he needs to talk to people it's to yell at them, but Brandon and I are good students. We don't ever do anything wrong.

Everyone is gone and it's super quiet now, "I just wanted to tell you that the tutoring isn't necessary anymore."

"Why?" Brandon asks.

"Because you are getting good grades now and it seems like you understand everything so much better," Mr. Hayes says.

"Oh," I say. "So he doesn't need my help anymore?"

"No," he says. "I appreciate you helping him and I'll get you your extra credit as soon as I can."

"Uhm," I say. "That's okay. I don't want it."

"Why?" Mr. Hayes asks. "Are you sure you don't want it?"

"No," I say. "It's, uh, fine."

"Okay, well thank you for helping him."

"Yea," I say.

I walk out of the classroom and I can feel Brandon following me out. Nobody is in the hallways. It's now just Brandon and I.

"Hey," he says. "What was that about?" I keep walking and I don't say anything, "Nat!"

"What?" I ask. He grabs my arm and spins me around so I'm now facing him.

"What's wrong with you? Why are you being all bitchy?"

"It's over," I say. "The tutoring is over which means you can leave."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Tears start to build up in my eyes as I think about everything I was told. I tried to ignore it and I tried to believe it was fake, but maybe it's real. Maybe he's going to leave.

"She told me," I say.

"Who told you what?"

"Chloe told me," I say. "You talked to her last week and you told her about using me. You said you needed the tutoring, so you could play sports."

"I never said that."

"S-she said you told her you would leave me right after you got the grades. You would leave to play sports."

"Natalie," he says. "You have to believe that I never said that. I never even talked to her. I swear I never said that."

"Maybe she's right though," I say. "Maybe you should just leave. You have your grades and now your sports. You never needed me."

"I do need you," he yells. He puts his hands on my cheeks and leans in closely, "I'm not leaving and neither are you. I love you and you should know that."

I close my eyes and I start to sob. He pulls me in close and I cry into his chest. I don't know why I just said all of that to him. I tried to ignore what Chloe said and I told myself it wasn't true, but I believed her. I went off on Brandon because of it. One of them is lying though. Either Chloe is lying about Brandon saying that or Brandon is lying to me.

Part of me knows that Brandon wouldn't say that shit though. I know Chloe would make shit up like that too. I swear she just wants Brandon and I to split up.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I just believed her when I know I shouldn't have."

"It's okay, baby," he kisses the top of my head a few times, "You don't have to be sorry. I promise you that I didn't say that to her. I don't even talk to her."

"I know that now," I say. I pull away from him and he wipes the tears from my face, "I need to go talk to her."

"Okay," he whispers. He presses his lips to mine very quickly and then pulls away, "I love you."

"I love you more," I say back .

***

Without knocking I walk right in. I know she's the only one home, so I don't really care if I knock or not.

"Chloe!" I yell.

"I'm in the kitchen!" She yells back to me. I walk to the kitchen to see her watching tv while eating ice cream. I always wished for a tv in my kitchen, but we could never afford that.

"Hi," I say.

"Hey," she says. "What brings you here? I didn't know you were coming over."

"I didn't either," I say.

"Well what's up?" She asks as she pauses her show, "You want some ice cream?"

I scoff, "No, I don't want ice cream. I just came to talk to you about something."

"I'm listening," she says.

"Why'd you tell me Brandon was going to leave me after tutoring?" I ask her without any hesitation.

She chuckles, "I was just messing with you. I thought you knew that."

"No," I say. "You weren't messing with me. It seemed pretty serious to me."

"It was a joke."

"So Brandon didn't talk to you?" I ask her. "He didn't say anything to you?"

"No," she says. "I was just messing with you. I didn't think you would take it seriously."

I roll my eyes and I look away, "You think everything is a joke, Chloe, but it's not. I know you weren't joking. You made that shit up to scare me and to piss me off. That's not what friends do."

"Look," she says standing up from her chair, "I really don't care what you think anymore. I tried to be friends with you, but every little thing is always wrong. It's either about Brandon or about me not being there for you. I'm the good friend. You are the always the one that chooses your boyfriend over your best friend."

I start laughing, "I choose him over you because he's more my best friend than you ever have been. What kind of best friend tries to steal their best friends boyfriend? I know I would never do that shit to you."

"He will be mine before you know it," she says.

"Whatever," I say. "He will not be. He will be mine until we die. He was mine first and he will always be mine."

"Someone is bold," she says. "We will see about that in a few weeks. I know I can give him more than you'll ever be able to give him.

"Fuck you," I say.

***

"Game night!" Nick yells as he walks in the house with all kinds of games in his hands. The rest of the boys walk in behind him.

"It is?" I ask.

"Yes," Edwin says. They put the games down on the coffee table and they all sit down around me.

"Well where is Brandon?" Austin asks.

"I don't know," I say. "I was at Chloe's and when I came back he was gone. I'm not sure where he is."

"Is Jennie here?" Nick asks.

"In her room," I say.

The door opens up again and I see it's Brandon with bags in his hands. "Hey, man," Nick says.

I stand up from the couch and I walk over to him, "Where were you?"

"I went to the store for some things," he says. "I didn't know the boys were going to be here."

"Me either," I say.

"The stuff is for you," he whispers, "I knew you had an awful day, so I wanted to surprise you. I guess that's not going to work now that they are here."

I smile, "It's okay, B." I lean up to kiss his cheek, "We can be together later. Let's just go play with them."

Him saying that made me realize that nobody will ever replace either of us. We are going to have hardships, but the two of us are forever.

I know that he will always be the man I'm in love with. I'll always choose him.