Meet the Mailman

Mailman Meets Heavy

How the hell did you even fit this box into the mail truck? You had no idea.

Well, you did have an idea. It was with the help of 9 people passing by, yourself, and some divine miracle...but how the hell were you going to remove it?

This box was not only the heaviest, but it was bent a little so it was awkward to get a hold of too, and you didn't want a complaint on damage, even if you doubted one of the guys here would file it (except maybe Spy). Yes indeed, you were back at your last stop of the day and struggling like ever. Pyro watched you, tilting their head.

You stood back in your failed attempt to move it and looked over at the silent little guy who was staring away. "You gonna help?"

They shook their head and you sighed. "Okay..."
It's not like you could really do anything about it. Who were you to squash their amusement watching you? But still, you wanted this thing off so you could get back to your place...the couch and TV called your name more than ever tonight.

"What's a matter, toots? Can't move a lil ole heavy box?" You heard a voice coming behind you. Oh great, even better.

"Scout, not in the mood." You huffed.

He laughed a little. "Sure, sure; like your mood has a play in how Imma behave toward ya." Scout swung his bat around playfully, practicing some moves or something. You weren't too sure. "Here, step aside, Mailman- watch a real male man at work...!"

Oh god, the play on words was just terrible...but what he lacked in humor, he made up for with struggling amusement. Scout grunted, also failing to lift the box, but vainly kept going back at it. "It'll budge, just give it a minute-"

Pyro let out some chuckles, and that got you chuckling a little too, but Scout didn't seem to appreciate it.

"Well fine!" He snapped and stopped, probably giving his red, strained fingers a break. "You do it yourself!"

You crossed your arms. "I couldn't do it by myself...it took me and nine other guys to lift this on there." You explained.

Suddenly there was a loud, exclamatory muffle from Pyro and they jumped up to their feet, both you and Scout looking over and taking a surprised step back. They pointed at you,then Scout, then themselves...and then waved their hands around, muffling all the way through with a brilliant explanation.

"...Huh?" Scout tilted his head. "Speak up, firefart."

But you got it and nodded. "Actually, that's a great idea..!" Scout furrowed his brows and looked over at you. "They said if it took me and nine other men to move it, then maybe that's what we need to do - everyone helps lift the box off!"

"Teamwork?" Scout said dryly. "Ew. You sound cheesy as hell, Mailman. That's stupid-"

The next second there was an axe by Scout's face and a glaring Pyro saying, 'it was MY idea!' He may have pissed himself in the moment as he stumbled back and hit his ass on the ground.

"Whoa, simmer down, Pyro." You said holding up your hands and stepping away. Even if the axe wasn't pointed to you, you had reason to worry. Pyro grumbled and put it away, about to offer a hand to Scout, but he got up without any help, dusting himself off in a huff.

"Who's the dang thing for anyway?" Scout said, crossing his arms.

You looked over at the package, trying to find the name. You actually weren't sure yourself. "I don't know...it just says 'heavy.'"

"Did someone say name?" a thick Russian voice spoke from the doorway, bending down a little to get out the exit.
Ooohhh...Heavy as in 'Heavy'...