Falling Slowly

viii. him

december twenty-ninth, two thousand fourteen

• • •

that night, he couldn't sleep.
everything was too vivid.
everything was too real.
he laid upon the floor
sprawled along albums
and sheet music,
willing the visions to go away

• • •

before he knew it,
the sun was rising over the horizon,
its familiar orange tint
giving comfort,
telling him that the long night
was finally over.

• • •

"kiddo, ready to go?"
he closed his eyes
for the first time since
one am,
and replied in a steady voice,
"as ready as I'll ever be."

• • •

by the time,
father and son
reached the school of rock,
the time was
one fourteen,
and he was late once again.

• • •

he pushed past the door,
opening it with more force
than necessary.
judy jumped in her seat,
"se-"
she started,
but doesn't get the opportunity
to finish his name.
he was gone.

• • •

there were rings underneath his eyes.
he made a stop in the bathroom
despite already being late.
he prodded at the dark circles,
cringing at his appearance.
it was too late
to do anything.
he couldn't hide.

no one would notice anyway.

• • •

he climbed up the rickety steps,
taking one at a time,
because he didn't have the energy
for two.

• • •

no one noticed him arrive.
no one but her.
she took a peek at him,
and he winced inwardly
when she took a subtle
double take in his direction.

• • •

he flopped onto the sofa,
with the grace of an elephant
teetering on a ball,
and started to push his case
towards her,
when he realized something.

• • •

in front of her
was already a case,
open and revealing
a brand new black fender,
that was just as black as her hair.
she squirmed and
parted her tiny lips to speak softly,
"christmas present."

• • •

he could only nod,
but was confused
as something akin to
jealousy
disappointment
betrayal
bubbled in his heart.

• • •

he took his guitar back,
and awkwardly placed it
in front of him.
he stared at it,
wondering how fate
always predetermined
which days would be
just chaotically unfortunate.

• • •

he didn't give her another look.
he just couldn't.
and just like his
thoughts betrayed him,
so did she.

• • •

it wasn't her fault,
but his own.
he apologized to himself,
for starting to get too close
to her.

• • •

in the end,
he would only leave,
just like he always did.
like he always will.
no one could love a tortured soul,
one that was wasted on a past love
so beautiful and fragile,
that it shattered at his feet
as soon as he got to touch it.

• • •

for a boy who didn't want to feel,
he felt too much.
and it will always be his downfall.
his hamartia.
his fatal flaw.

• • •

and once again,
the thoughts managed
to consume him

• • • • • • • • • • • •

more insight on boy? mwahaha. hahaha. hahaha. ha.

comment, vote, promote.

-isabelle