Gravity is a Bitch

14. Between Love and Possession

-- Elianna --

I was attending a videoconference call when I heard a knock on the door. A familiar brown head peeked around the corner. I gestured for her to come in, my finger pressed to my lips in a quiet request. She nodded and entered, settling in the chair in front of my desk.

Alex began fidgeting, touching everything in sight, before her attention landed on the tenis ball. She started tossing it against the wall, and then moved her chair, sliding it back and forth on the floor. I shot her a disapproving look, but she responded with a mischievous grin.

Sighing, I got up from behind my desk to grabbed her chair, pulling it back up to the couch. Sitting down beside her, I settled my computer on the coffe table, but Alex tried to stand again. I quickly grabbed her jeans, pulling her back onto the couch next to me.

My conference ended about thirty minutes later, but I could still feel Alex's intense, probing gaze on me. Even without turning to face her, I could sense her eyes on me, tracking every move, every shift of my expression.

Turning to face her, I was met with an unexpected intensity in her gaze that made me feel both unsettled and trapped. For a moment, I thought I saw tears glistening in her eyes, but they vanished as quickly as they appeared when she blinked.

She lowered her head, her shoulders slumping. The sight made my chest tighten.

"What's wrong?" I asked in panic.

"I'm screwed" she whispered, standing up abruptly.

"What?" I asked, feeling the weight of the moment settle between us.

"I... I'm going to my room" She turned and closed the door behind her without another word.

After half an hour of sipping my red wine and sorting through some files, I decided to check on Alex. She was sitting on her bed, her back resting against the headboard, eyes closed and big headphones on. The only sound in the room was the rhythmic tapping of rain against the window.

I walked over and gently removed her headphones, sitting down next to her on the bed.

"Elianna? I didn't hear you come in" she murmured, her voice tinged with surprise. I held her hand, pressing a soft kiss to her fingers before locking eyes with her.

"Is there something you'd like to tell me?" I asked gently. She seemed to freeze for a moment, a pinch of the brigde of her noze, a clear sign that she was nervous.

"No... there's nothing to say. Why do you ask?" Her voice was shaky, and she pulled away slightly, even though she was already backed up against the wall. Her avoidance felt out of place, considering how close we had been lately. If she wasn't trying to hold my hand or cuddle with me, she was usually right by my side. Seeing her push me away felt wrong, and I couldn't ignore it.

"You just look sad, and I don't like it and you seem like...trying to avoid me" I said softly.

"No, I'm not" she replied, but her voice betrayed her. I raised an eyebrow in disbelief. 

"So come closer" She nervously laughed, inching forward a little.

"Closer..." I coaxed her with my eyes, silently urging her to bridge the gap. She hesitated before closing the remaining distance, resting her forehead gently against mine and her nose rubbing against mine. We both signed in relieve. I wish it could always be like that, minus the guilt in deepest corner of my gut.

"Now, tell me what's going on" I whispered, my voice barely audible. I wasn't sure if she heard me, but she responded in a hushed tone, her lips barely parting.