― 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒄𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅.
❝ you never knew the stars had
a flavor until you first kissed him.
it turns out they taste like ambition
and ancient fire, desperation, and
dark matter, and the mind-numbing
fear of bei...
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STARCROSSED (book one). °• CHAPTER FOUR •°
" YOU SHOULDN'T BE CARRYING THIS, TOO. "
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ELIJAH IS STILL TIRED WHEN HE OPENS HIS EYES. Theyburn almost immediately because of the sunlight peeking through the curtain of his room. He thinks a weight was dragging him further into the mattress like the blanket draped over him weighed a hundred pounds more than it should. He can't move a limb. He can't kick it off, can't swing his leg over the edge, and drag himself out of his room. He's never been afraid to cry freely and the urge is there, but no tears spill to drip on the pillowcase. Elijah thinks something dark had drained him of feeling alive. Maybe it was Steve. Maybe it was Nevaeh. Maybe it was Jonathan or Will. Or maybe it was because Elijah was the absolute biggest screw up the world had to offer, and he did this to himself.
"Come on," Elijah whispers to no one but himself. He can do this. He's not fucking pathetic. His muscles tense as he tries to make them move with a twitch of his fingers, but nothing happens. He can't make it and it only makes him somehow feel even worse.
Elijah was always what held the Wolfhart family together. Once their mother died and their father started working, rarely returning home, it was him who made sure they were alright. He packed Tobia lunches and kept them in the fridge, made sure there were enough leftovers for him from the dinner he made, double-checked there were pillows on the couch before he went to bed, and would set alarms for him in case he forgot. It was Elijah who woke Nevaeh up for school, drove her and her friends anywhere they wanted, made sure she did her homework before dinner, and didn't fall asleep until he was sure she did.
And he was tired. He was so fucking exhausted from carrying them. There was only one person who looked out for Elijah. Steve stayed up with him if he was worried about his father, let him cry about his mother since he couldn't in front of the others, gathered his homework if he missed school, and helped him find a stable car. But he was long gone now. He wasn't coming back to be the stability he needed. It was up to Elijah to take care of himself. No one else wanted him, so he had to want himself.
It must have been a few hours before Elijah can finally move. He remained on his back with his eyes locked on the popcorn ceiling, ignoring the minutes he counted ticking by in his head. This was going on for too long. He's better than this. Yet, it still takes every bit of strength he had left in him to pull himself up. Elijah feels as if he's slept for days and the effects of being tired were taking a longer toll on him.
