Lost In Resonace

Level Of Concern

Gavin: hey

That word. That single word stares at Gavin every time he opens up his phone to frantically check to see if Conan texted back. It echoes in his mind all Tuesday night and follows him into Wednesday. 

I'll ask Conan about it, he decides fiercely. I'll make him explain. But when he storms up to the orchestra line on Wednesday, something in him gives way. 

Conan and Connor are standing alone, Connor leaning against his twin. They both have sunken eyes, and Conan is staring blankly ahead. Gavin tries to catch his eye, but Conan's gaze is firmly iced over. 

The word eats away at Gavin for the rest of the day, settling deep in his stomach. Tomorrow, I'll make him tell me tomorrow, he decides before falling asleep. 

Something similar happens Thursday. Gavin, filled with determination, dull rage stabbing at his chest, almost stomps up to Conan and Connor in line. He casts them an angry glance, and everything melts away. 

Conan and Connor aren't isolated in line anymore. Daniel's grumpily standing next to a shining Connor, while Chloe gleefully rambles to Conan. Simon shakes his head and smiles as Markus comes up and kisses his cheek from behind, seamlessly joining the conversation in front of him. 

Connor's hand is firmly planted in Conan's, but Gavin thinks that he can see the ghost of the smile he once knew on Conan's lips. 

The word bites back with a fiery passion as soon as Gavin can bring himself to look away. It burns all through the day until he finds himself making another promise before bed. Tomorrow. Tomorrow is the day. I'll do it tomorrow. 

He finds himself planning what he’s going to say all morning. He absently writes out a script or two in class, underlining and circling important words. Gavin alternates between tugging on the sleeve of his jacket and tugging on the short hairs on the back of his neck. 

Orchestra rolls around, and Conan's finally alone. 

He's leaning against the wall, arms crossed, watching Connor T-pose over a frowning Daniel. Conan tenses for a moment when Markus grabs him and lifts him into the air, but relaxes when Connor yells "DO NOT QUESTION THE ELEVATED ONE!" Daniel finally breaks, cackling madly. Gavin smiles at the display of dominance but hardens again at the word burning up his body. He walks up to Conan forcefully. 

"Hey, " Gavin says. His mind goes completely blank as Conan looks down at him, fond expression turning blank. Shit-uh- oh no, what was I going to say? " Why didn't you text back?" He means it to come out forceful and angry, but his voice is choked and small. 

Conan stiffens, shoulders tight as the realisation dawns on him. 

"I'm so sorry!" He blurts out, hands flying up to cover his mouth. His eyes dart over to Connor, who is now being held up like Simba. "I- ah, things happened. I'm so sorry." Gavin immediately softens, smiling shyly. 

"I ah- I just assumed you were ignoring me or something. I was worried that my old hunk of junk didn't send it, but then I saw that you saw it…. and yeah…." Gavin presses the tips of his index fingers together. 

"Hunk of junk? C'mon, that model isn't that bad, " Conan replies, tilting his head cutely. Gavin's heart pounds in his chest. "I've had worse."

"How did you end up with one of these?" Gavin asks excitedly. 

"I- ah, I'm clumsy." Conan's eyes shift to the side, but he's not looking at Connor. "What about you?"

"Phckin same!" 

"I ah, one time, when I was driving, my phone got caught underneath my pedal and I crushed it," Conan says, eyes shifting to the side again. 

"One time, I was sitting on my roof and my phone was next to me and I went to grab it but I just smacked it right off the ledge." Conan lets out a small snort, eyes smiling. Gavin's heart flutters at the sight.