FOLLOW YOUR HEART

Chapter 5 - A True Love of Mine

Shawn stood there, looking a little flushed. Had he been drinking?

"Hi, you ok?" she asked, concerned.

"Yeah, I am, I just wanted to....." he seemed so nervous and unsure. She frowned at him, concerned.

"Do you want to come in?" She stepped back and opened the door and he hesitated then walked inside.

"What's wrong?" she asked. She was getting worried now. He was standing with his back to her, running his hand through his hair. She put her hand on his shoulder. "Talk to me."

He turned around, a tortured expression on his face. She felt the heat rise between them, the air grow still and heavy.

"Shawn?" she whispered. He reached out for her, pulling her against him and lowering his head, all in one movement, taking her mouth in a punishing kiss. He kept one hand on her waist and thrust the other into her hair. She held onto him tightly, as if she would fall if she let go. Their mouths opened in unspoken mutual consent and he groaned as their tongues met in a sensuous dance. Every nerve ending in her body was alive, her skin sensitive, a liquid heaviness pooling in her lower belly. He could take me right now, she thought, just standing here, or on the floor, and I would let him, I would help him, I would beg him to.

He ripped his lips away and rested his forehead on hers, panting as if he had just run a marathon. They had fought this for so long, since their early days of stolen kisses and forbidden caresses. They were no longer kids though, she was a woman, with a woman's experiences and needs, and he was very much a man, she could feel it in the tenseness of his muscles, the tenderness of his hands and the hardness of his erection pressing against her. The thought that one word, one touch, from her could land them in her bed, naked, together, thrilled her, but brought with it a sense of terror.

"This is what he wanted for us," he whispered. "This and so much more."

"I know," she whispered.

"Because he knew it was what WE wanted, but have been too scared to do anything about."

"Yes."

"I don't want to lose you Camilita, I don't want to ruin what we have."

"How do we know that will happen?" she asked logically.

"How do we know it won't?"

"Is that really an argument? Nobody knows what will happen tomorrow. Isn't that the point?"

"Are you saying you want this? Because right now, I am standing on a knife edge, I could fall either way, and it's a long way down on both sides."

"So are we doing this for us? Or for Garry?" she asked. "Is that what you're worried about?"

"Did you want this before the Will was read, or has the Will made you think about it?"

"A bit of both," she said. "My feelings haven't changed, I wanted to do this before, but I can't say his Will, his words, haven't made me think a lot about what would happen if we did."

"Once we do this..."

"....things will change forever. I know."

"Would that be so bad?"

She looked up at him with pleading eyes. She didn't know what to say or what to do, she was a massive ball of confusion infused with lust.

"There's no rush..." she said, in a strained voice. "is there?"

He closed his eyes and she could see him trying to slow his breathing, to calm down. She could not believe she was the one throwing the cold water on this when only seconds ago she had been ready to do anything.