-Part 1-

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Addison's POV

Here I am crying. Looking at the only boy I've thought about for the last 5 months. "Addi Im so sorry" he told me. "You don't have anything to be sorry about. We just aren't ready. We've grown apart and we're both so busy. It just" my voice broke as I wiped my tears. "It just hurts to let you go" I told him.

"I know." He said and brought me into a hug holding me against his chest. "I'm gonna miss seeing you all the time" I told him sniffling. "Hey don't say that we're still gonna see each other" he said wiping my face. I gave him my "don't lie to me" face and he just sighed. "I promise" he held up his pinkie. I locked our pinkies and kissed him one more time.

"See you soon Bryce Hall" I love you. I didn't say that, but that doesn't mean I don't. I love him more than anything. I've never told him and now I never will. He won't break his promise. I know he won't. He can't.

*flashback*

"Bryce stop it" I laughed as he tickled me making me squirm. "Not until you say you'll come with me" he said laughing with me. "I can't! You know I can't, I'm scared" I told him with my pouty face. He wants me to come to some awful haunted house with him and some other people. "I promise I'll be with you the entire time" he held my face. "I know but it's still scary" I crossed my arms and walked into my kitchen.

"Please" he sat in front of me on the stool looking at me with those eyes that I could get lost in forever. "What if I get lost and I can't find you" I tried making up excuses not to go. "I'd never leave you because to be honest I'm kind of a pussy when it comes to this stuff" he whispered. I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Fine".

Why am I doing this? I hate scary stuff. Oh shut up Addison you know why your doing this. For him! I turned around too fast and he was right behind me. "Oops sorry" I laughed blushing because of how close our faces were. He looked at my lips and back to my eyes. We kissed.

*end of flashback*

I thought of our first kiss that wasn't induced by some spin the bottle game or pier pressure. It was January now. So much had changed. I was a hype house member now. I was friends with the D'amelio sisters and so many more people. The one thing I thought would never change was me and Bryce. Sadly, nothing lasts forever.

I opened the door to the sway house and found Anthony walking in. "Hey Adds you leaving early today?" He asked I nodded faking a smile. Avani followed him out of the car but stopped to talk to me telling him to go inside. "Addison I know that face. What's wrong?" She asked concerned.

"It's over" I smiled through the pain as another tear slipped out. She hugged me tight rubbing my back. "I'm so sorry Adds" she told me. "It's for the best. I want him to be happy you know?" I wanted that to be true. Some of it was. I did want him to be happy, but I wanted to be happy too. I knew that the only happy I would be now would be fake. 

"Vani don't worry about me okay? Go be with Anthony!" I wiped my eyes and shooed her inside. I unlocked my car and started it. I drove to the only place I could think to go.

*flashback*

Bryce and I had arrived at the beach were would we be going on our forth official date as boyfriend and girlfriend. I think. I'm not sure what we are, but I don't want to mess it up so I'm not gonna push him.

"It's so beautiful" I told him. "Not as beautiful as you" he whispered in my ear and I blushed "too cheesy?" He asked and I shook my head. "It was cheesy but it was cute" I kissed him. We sat by the ocean on our blanket as he held me close.

"I don't ever want to lose you Addi. No matter what happens, promise me you'll always be in my life." He said looking down at me in his arms. "I promise"

*end of flashback*

I shouldn't be here. Not just at our spot but in this state of mind. There's too many memories. A broken promise most of all. A broken promise that I wish I could keep. It's just that I don't know how much I'll be able to take being around him if I can't be with him.

"I love you" I said to the ocean in front of me. I shivered in the cool breeze only in my tank top and sweatpants. I felt his absence. His warmth. His strong hold on me, emotionally and physically. It was like having my blanket of protection and reassurance taken away.

"I know you mean well Bryce. I just wish it didn't have to be this way. I'm always gonna love you. I should have told you, but now it's too late." I said to no one but myself. To me it was as if he could hear me if I tried hard enough to make him hear me.

I sat there and cried feeling sorry for myself. I can't just sit here and cry forever. Turns out you can sit there and cry for quite a while. It was now 1am and I checked my phone.

6 Missed Calls From Dixie
3 iMessages From Dixie
5 Missed Calls From Thomas
2 Missed Calls From Charli

I should have called them back, but I didn't. I didn't know what I would say. "Hey guys I'm at the beach crying because Bryce and I are over and I feel like I have no purpose". I don't need to put my problems on them.

I got back in my car and drove back to the Hype House. I unlocked the front door to find Charli, Chase, Dixie, Thomas, and Ryland sitting on the couch waiting for me. "Thank god your okay!" Charli yelled running up to me and hugging me tighter than she ever has. "Yeah Im just fine" I choked holding back my voice from breaking.

"Don't ever scare me like that again Addi." Dixie said hugging me "okay mom" I tried my best to laugh and make it seem like I was okay but I just couldn't make the pain go away.

I hugged Ryland, Chase, and Thomas. "I'm gonna go to sleep" I informed them and walked up the stairs entering my room. I walked into my room and fell to the floor. I started to sob and sob. Somehow I got enough strength to go into the bathroom and wipe the makeup off my tear stained face.

I changed into one of his sweatshirts that I would have to return and some of his sweatpants. I got under my covers and sat there for a while just crying. I tried to stop, tried to make myself sleep, tried to make my heart hurt less. Nothing would stop. It was like someone was stabbing my heart with a burning knife that just wouldn't stop.

It was that night I decided that no one could ever love me like Bryce, and I could never love anyone like I love him. I also knew that no one could ever hurt me like he did. Even if he didn't mean it, with his good intentions, his good heart, and I knew he would never hurt me if he didn't have to.

My thoughts were interrupted by a light knock at my door. "Who is it" I said with my shaky voice. "Dixie" the voice said. "It's open" I sniffed wiping the tears I could as the rest continued. She opened the door and looked at me across the door. "Oh Addi" she said and ran to me hugging me tight.

She held me in her arms as I sobbed. Dixie was my best friend for a lot of reasons. One thing I loved about Dixie was that she didn't pry, she didn't ask questions, she cared but she knew when someone didn't want to be bothered about something, and most of all she wouldn't say a word to anyone not even you about it until you told her you were ready.

"I'm here when your ready to talk. I can tell how bad your hurting right now" she told me wrapping me in my blankets. She sat there with me for a few hours as I cried, shivered, and could barely breathe. "Me and Bryce" my voice shook. "We're done" I finally got out. She looked down at me. "I'm so sorry" was all she said. Like I said, she doesn't ask questions when she knows you don't want to answer them. Let me tell you I don't want to answer them right now.

She stayed with me all night. I didn't sleep much and neither did she. The day after your heart breaks isn't much better than the moment it happens. It's almost as if the pain has set in and now you have to find a way to acclimate to having it in your heart. I didn't move much. I didn't eat. Dixie brought me food but I didn't touch it.

I made the mistake of going on my phone. People had no idea what had happened last night. How would they? I didn't tell them, neither did Bryce, and Dixie and Avani would never. I know I will have to at some point, but just not today.

I watched some TikToks for a while and after I was bored and Dixie had come back into my room locking the door behind her, as I'd requested, so no one would see me, I went onto Instagram. TikTokroom appeared on my following stream and...who the hell is she?

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