✔️ | 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗡𝗼𝘁 (#2 Lost and Found series)

14. The letters.

DEDICATED TO MY FRIEND ViDisha21  WHO LOVES SEAN DESPITE EVERYTHING. SHE WROTE A ROMANCE THAT I LOVE THAT I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO READ.

Sean,

I remember the first time you spoke to me. Of course, how could I forget, given the circumstances? But I'm not talking about the news from that horrendous night; no, when I reflect on that night now, I see your compassion and hear the soft tone of your voice.

Your voice kept me calm throughout the interview; asking me those questions that I could tell you hated asking. When I look back on that, it's like my favorite song came on the radio unexpectedly to lighten a horrible moment and change the course of that otherwise awful memory.

That's exactly who you are. You see people for who they are, and you find the best parts of them, loving them, not punishing them, through all of the hard times. You mended my broken heart and helped me evolve into a girl that felt loved. That's why I know you will be an amazing dad, Sean.

I think sometimes we come into each other's lives for a season of time for reasons just like that. You needed me, and I desperately needed you and your everything; your attention, your kisses, your kindness.

I also believe that people who love each other deeply as we have that if it's meant to be, someday it will work itself out.

I will miss everything while you're gone; your breathtaking smile, the way your hand feels on my face, the way you love me...

When you first made it known you were into me, I couldn't believe I didn't recognize the signs. I didn't realize your thoughtfulness and compliments meant you liked me because you're such a wonderful person, I thought you were just kind. I've never had a man make me feel so loved than you have. You are unquestionably you, and that's why I love you.

I will miss your body wrapped around me, and the way your voice sounds in my ear. I'll miss you calling me just to say hi and ask how my day is.

I feel like I can't even put into words what our relationship has been to me, and I wish I could, honey. You are an incredible man, and I love you for everything you are.

I hope you find happiness in Texas and nothing short of that. You want to watch every step of your son's life, and I understand. I have no doubt my parents would have made the same decision because kids should always come first.

I won't be contacting you while you're gone because I need a clean break from heartache. That feeling and I are too heavily acquainted, and I need to move into a different stage of life from that.

With all of the love and support in the world, I want you to know, I want to tell you: I'll always be on your side, always be in your corner, and I will always adore you, Sean Ryan.

************************

Liv,

This letter is words I want to tell you, but I'm worried I cannot express eloquently, and, in my opinion, you deserve everything good and precious in the world.

This might be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, and I'm so sorry. I fell for you so hard, and quick, Liv, and I can't tell you how much it breaks my heart that this tore us apart. I don't know if I should apologize, but I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that I love you.

I love you for your precious heart and your goofy sense of humor, how you can talk about absolutely anything, and just love to live your life. I'll miss holding you every chance I get and kissing your sweet face, and how you smile when I do pretty much anything nice for you. You made my life worth living in these past few months.

I will always remember on one of our long walks with our favorite dog that I told you about my first girlfriend, and you laughed at something dumb I did and said to me that it was cute, and Liv, my heart started skipping beats because I wanted you to know how much I liked you.

From the moment you became my friend, my life changed for the better, and all of the long days were bearable because I had you.

You are the strongest, bravest girl I know; you face these impossible situations with love in your heart. Even when you have an off day and think you don't measure up, you're the fighter that's explaining the reasons why it's going to get better.

Keep fighting, baby — never abandon that mentality. You have been my light in the darkness, and my warmth in the cold. I will miss your hugs and your laugh and our talks, and I am getting so teary as I write these words because I can't believe this is my life.

I can't even write this...it's so hard to write...I can't believe this is what my life is. I'm excited to be a dad and to meet my son, but goddammit if I don't want you, too. I wish you were coming with me. I wish I weren't leaving. I'm sorry that I'm going, baby, I'm so sorry.

This letter doesn't do you justice — I could tell you a dozen ways you're amazing, and I'd find a dozen more after. I could kiss you every day, and it wouldn't be enough. Thank you for loving me, Livvie baby, I won't ask you to wait for me because I don't know what the hell this mess I have created is going to be like in the next six months, but..god, this isn't getting any easier to write.

I'm not going to ask you to wait because you deserve the world, and I'm sorry that I can't be the one that can do that right now. I wish I could and the idea that somebody else gets to show you that makes me insane, but my life is so messy right now, and I want you to be so, so, so happy.

Thank you for everything you've done in my life. Anything I write here is not enough to show you how much I worship you, how incredible you are, and how much I hope you get everything you've ever wanted. I love you, baby, and I hope that we can make this work.

One million hugs and kisses, Sean.