(funny) the return of augustus waters

he is comin 4 u hazul

augustus' pov

so i was walkin thru the clouds of heven and all of a suden fkn jesus pops up and he sayz "lol u wrnt posed to die go bck 2 erth u dimwit nugget" so i ws lki watevur jesus u have a name lkie a fckn mexican anyways

so lki 10 sec l8tr i was lik poof and sh*t and i was back on erth. so i gus jesus decidd that i neddded 2 go back to me partns house bc idk lolz. so i say hi to my mum and i spouose she was very surpised to sea me so she had a heart attck hahahaha. i gave me dader a high 5 and he almost fainted and idk y?????????? liek im ur fkn sun wheres the respect???????????

so i lik went to me room and i was lik where the fuk is me stuff at????? lik what the hell wi did dey box up all mi sh*t???????? im back lik wtf are dey stoopud cuz jesus sent mi back! lik im back b*tches! lik ugh so stupid??? i shake me hed in angerness as i sit on th flor, so fkn pissed of. all of a suden some damn song strts 2 pleigh nd all i can hear is "GUESS WHO'S BACK. BACK AGAIN" nd thn i strt 2 cri bc i cn relly rel8 2 the song atm bc wow im bck from heven!!!!!11!!

aftr i get my sheit together i decide 2 get up and go see if hzul was still alive bc if she is then wow didn't the cancer alredy get 2 her brain yet?????? leik cum on????

so i decid 2 fli 2 her house bc im a fkn genius tbh and i knock on her doooor and then she ansers so im like all wtf??????

so i tell her "oh my gawd hazul i cnt beeliv u r still aliver lolz i thot u wuld b dead bi now"

***TO BE CONTINUED***