𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐎𝐟𝐟! • ʰʸᵘⁿᵇⁱⁿˡⁱˣ

Chapter 33

⚠️suicide ⚠️

Seungmin doesn't realise what's happened until he hears the door to Hyunjins private room shut. Felix who has been sat still and silent like a statue is now pulling him along the hallways, nurses and patients giving them a confused look.

"Let's take a walk in the garden." Felix finally says once he and Seungmin reach the elevator. His hand keeping grip onto Seungmins wrist while the other pulls at the hem of his shirt.

They wait for about thirty seconds before the doors open and everyone inside has left. Felix and Seungmin are the only ones inside, neither of them saying a word as Felix presses the button to the ground floor letting it light up. The ride down continues in silence.

Seungmin can see from the corner of his eye that Felix has his eye fixated on the door. The same blank look on his face from before as if he's cried all his tears left.

After reading the letter from Hyunjin, Felix clutched it tight as he sprinted to the nurses help desk. Once finding the room Hyunjin was staying in he knew exactly where to go, it's the same room Changbin had been in. Room 0325, the irony. Pushing past anyone who got in his way Felix didn't bother the elevator thinking it would take too long he climbs up the stairs to the third floor, and flings the door to the twenty-fifth room open.

Before running like crazy Felix now freezes on the spot, stood halfway through the doorway. On the bed, he can see Hyunjins still body.

The time it took for him to make to the hospital from the beach, the doctors had stitched up his wounds and gotten him hooked up to an IV pump.

Not wanting to believe it at first Felix looks back into the hallway then to room, Hyunjin stays in the bed unconscious each time. Finally taking a step in, also taking a deep breath he walks over to be beside the other. Looking down with letter still in hand Felix can't keep it in anymore.

He has very been emotionally strong and the smallest things could make him cry but this time it's not like his normal crying. The only time he has cried like this was due to Changbin. The tightness in his chest becomes stronger as if someone is trying to suffocate his heart, pulling at its stings as if it's a game to them.

"You're an idiot you know that?" Felix mumbles through muffled sobs. He can feel the heat from his tears as the fall down his cheeks. The sting in his eyes not wanting to look at Hyunjin but at the same time, he can't tear them away.

He stays there crying over Hyunjins body, one arm hiding the tears with the other squeezing holding tight onto the letter. All this time Felix never knew anything going on. He thought that finding out about Changbin and Hyunjins last would allow him to get closer to them.

Maybe everyone was right that he shouldn't know, "it's best for you." The words he once hated to hear, he now wished he listened to.

But if Felix never found out then Hyunjin would've continued to behave like he did and he wouldn't know the truth.

But because Hyunjin now knows the truth this happened. He has taken his own life.

Thankfully for Seungmin, Hyunjin is still here, still alive.

Once the others arrive up to the room Felix is still crying, some even joining in. The doctor comes in saying Hyunjin was brought to the hospital just in the nick of time but unsure of when he will wake up and will most likely need to see a therapist before being let out. Knowing Hyunjin was so close to death hurts Felix even more.

Felix lifts his head at the ding of the elevator reaching the ground floor. Keeping ahold of Seungmin they make their way to the back of the hospital where a back door leads to a communal garden space.

Opening the door the sun outside brightens up the corridor. Stepping out Felix releases his grip on Seungmin walking off without the other. Seungmin scurries after Felix, following him along the gravel paths until they reach a bench in front of a tree. Felix lets out a sigh as he sits down, dropping his head back as he places his arm over his eyes to shade the sun.

The two sit there in silence before Felix decides to speak up, "It's all my fault." His voice is quiet and soft but Seungmin managed to hear him through all the birds chirping in the background.

"No, it's not." Seungmin defends Felix, he doesn't know what has caused the blonde to thinks it's his fault but it's not.

"Yes, it is," Felix drops his arm to show his glassy eyes, "If I hadn't been so selfish and kept pushing to- to find out about the past then none of this would've ever happened."

Felix and Seungmin have only ever talked a few times when Felix would be with Hyunjin and Minho, so their friendship is more of an acquaintanceship. However, at this moment Seungmin knows he needs to be a friend to comfort Felix.

"If you hadn't of pushed, Hyunjin would still be thinking that he can't love but now he knows that he can love and there is nothing wrong with love. We all have the right to love who we choose. We choose who we love not other people and that's what's important." Seungmin puts and arm over Felix's shoulder and pulls him in closer while rubbing the shoulder of the blonde with a small squeeze. "I think he thought that because of what he has done no one could love him back but he's wrong-"

"I liked him... a lot" Felix buts in. "I was always so nice to me, he took care of me and even helped with dance practice sometimes." Felix lets out a little chuckle, "and he's very handsome.

Seungmin sees the weak smile on Felix's lips. He never knew Felix felt that way about Hyunjin so when he found out about the past it must've hurt him so much and now with Hyunjin lying in that hospital bed it must hurt even more.

"He's strong." Seungmin has been with Hyunjin since the start of college and he has always managed to get through things. Seungmin just hopes the same will happen now. He can't know what must've been going through Hyunjin head when he chooses to take his life, his inner world was changed, collapsing even. "When he wakes up it will all be fine..."

Silence grows between the two on the bench, Felix closes his eyes preventing himself from crying as Seungmin keeps an arm over his shoulder.

"Seungmin?" Felix looks up from the brunette's shoulder who hums in response, "I don't know what to do... I like Changbin a lot but I also like Hyunjin- and then Hyunjin likes Changbin still but in the letter, he said he likes me." Felix's voice cracks as if he is holding back tears.

Seungmin looks at the sad boy and hesitantly lifts his hand from their shoulder and strokes their hair. They aren't that close but they both need comfort from the other.

"Can't you all love each other. Ever heard of a poly relationship?" Seungmin feels Felix shake his head without looking down, "it's where there can be more than two people in a relationship so you, Hyunjin and Changbin. You will be dating each other."

Felix thinks for a moment. He can be with both Hyunjin and Changbin, the idea of it brings the corners of his lips into a small smile. "Can we do th-"

"FELIX SEUNGMIN!"

The pair in the bench lifts their head to their names suddenly being called. They see Minho running over with a worried look on his face. Felix thinking to his self that Hyunjin hasn't made it breaks his heart more than it already has.

"Hy-Hyunjin" Minho pants as he tries to catch him breathe. "Hyunjin has run away."

"What?" Seungmin stands up dropping Felix onto the bench.

Felix stays there in shock. Hyunjin has made it but why has he ran away?

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