in which carter langston finds a book from the hardest year of her life, 2020.
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dylan kingwell relives the year he met his girlfriend with the help of a scrapbook
dylan kingwell x oc
lowercase intended
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☁︎︎ may 2025
"This couldn't have been me, right?" Dylan asked, confused. "I didn't meet you until-" Carter pressed a finger to his lips.
"Stop talking!" She rolled her eyes with a slight chuckle. Dylan eagerly looked back down at the book, flipping the page.
⚠︎︎ january 2020
"I never caught your name." The short brown haired boy raised his eyebrow.
"That's because I never gave it to you." Carter mumbled, not moving her gaze from the tiny stone she kept kicking as they walked down the street.
"Are you okay?" The boy blurted, out of the ordinary. "The pain in your voice, the shake in your hands. If you're not comfortable telling me, I understand. We all have-"
"My best friend committed suicide." Carter cut him off. Although he also spoke a lot, like Tyler, he wasn't completely insensitive, unlike Tyler.
"I'm sorry." His mouth snapped shut.
"Carter." Carter finally looked up, straight ahead as they turned a corner, walking towards a corn field.
"Pardon me?"
"My name is Carter." Carter replied, her voice lined with a scratchy rasp, making it sound like she was completely uninterested or catching a cold.
"I like that. I'm Rian."
Minutes went by where neither of them talked. Carter found a new rock to give all her attention to, and Rian walked awkwardly with his hands in his pockets like how every teenage boy walks.
After about five minutes of walking in silence, Carter spoke up.
"Why are we doing this? What is the point of this walk? You need to tell me something? How you knew Virginia, how sorry you are? If it's anything about Nia, shut it and go away." She snapped, halting her short strides.
"I didn't know her, and even if I did, I wouldn't be sorry. I understand the pain of losing someone, but the fake pity is worse. I'm here because you look lost. Broken. Let me guess, you have a home, two parents, a great school-"
"If you're hear to tell me how great my life is, shut the heck up and go. GO!" Carter screamed, tears streaming down her cheeks as they stood in the middle of the street.
"Even though you have the image of a perfect home life and perfect life in general, two parents together, your own room, no siblings, you're misunderstood. You have all of those things but if you had the chance to escape, you wouldn't even hesitate. Am I right?" Rian cocked an eyebrow, his eyes filled with an unrecognizable emotion.
Carter stayed silent for a second before giving up. "Yes..." she whispered, drying her tears, even though they kept coming.
"What if I gave you the chance to escape?" Rian put two fingers underneath Carter's chin and lifted her head, so she was looking at him.
"W-what do y-you mean?" Carter stammered, hope filling her voice as she thought of the chains breaking free from her wrists.
"There's this center. Before you say anything, no, it isn't forcing you to do anything and it's not going to judge you. You're not forced to stay either." Rian quickly put in when he saw the young girl's reaction.
"This center just gives teenagers shelter and food, warmth. It gives you a sense of belonging and it connects you with people who are struggling with the same things. My best friend's girlfriend lives there. She loves it." Rian finished.
"I just met you and you're trying to get me to move into a house with a bunch of messed up teenagers? I'm kindly going to reject that offer. No."
Carter and Rian walked all the way back to the homeless man without saying a word. Carter was infuriated and she didn't even have a clear sense of why she was so mad.
"You look like you need to let your emotions out again." The man held out his guitar and Carter took it.
"Just once more." She nodded.
"I guess all the mountains that I moved just weren't enough. And all those nights I walked you home from crowded bars when you were drunk, well they meant nothing cause you up'ed and walked away..."
Rian's heart broke at the sound of Carter's voice. She was so sad and lonely, and her voice was so raw. He felt a tap on his shoulder, and saw his cast mates, Sophie, Xochitl, Malia, Shay and Momona. They had sorrow and empathy in their eyes and hugged Rian. He didn't even know why until he realized that all these lyrics apply to him and his ex girlfriend, Lexi. He hugged his friends back and watched Carter sing.
"And I just wonder what it'd take to make you stay.
Cause when you said 'jump' I said 'how high'... but when I jumped you said 'goodbye'...
I would have walked through hell to find another way. I would have lay me down if I knew that you would stay."
Carter's voice altered perfectly throughout the notes, voice cracks in all the right spots.
People started crowding around her, including some very sketchy teenage boys and older men here and there, looking the minor up and down.
"I would have crossed the stars to keep you in my life, but now I'm falling hard without you here tonight. Without you here tonight
What did you do with all that love you couldn't give? And do you need someone to help you? Tell you what to do with it? It must be nice to love someone who puts you first Then walk away when they expect it in return
'Cause when you said jump, I said how high? When I jumped, you said goodbye
I woulda walked through hell To find another way I woulda laid me down If I knew that you would stay I woulda crossed the stars To keep you in my life But now I'm falling hard Without you here tonight
Without you here tonight
You don't want me Nothing I can do 'cause You don't wanna try
I woulda walked through hell To find another way I woulda laid me down If I knew that you would stay I woulda crossed the stars To keep you in my life But now I'm falling hard Without you here tonight
Without you here tonight Without you here tonight Without you here tonight"
As Carter finished, she opened her eyes. They widened as they landed on some teenage male in particular, with blonde hair and blue eyes. Then Carter was gone.
