I dont know what its like to have a dad or be the popular girl or be homecoming queen, my school never did a prom queen or anything. I miss being a kid and trying to chase down all the grasshoppers just to feed one garden spider, i miss not worrying about if i was gonna make it til the next paycheck because my mom always had it figured out but now i have to figure it out and i dont know how. It takes to much just feel like breathng anymore sometimes i wonder how i havent died yet ive had so many close calls but ive not been hurt but once, im still here what even am i Doing here anymore i feel like im climbing an everlasting up hill battle.
but im here. Alive breathing writing typing each word in my head because i dont what else to do I dont know who to talk to or even what to say to another human being. If you see this reyna and Nate im sorry I couldnt tell you how i felt im trying my best i swear but sometimes the best I can do is getting drunk and writing my feelings at 1:30am and thats all Ive got these days I'm scared I'm tired and I feel so alone. I thought I could be someone But I am no one and I am alone.
