Tubbo was tired. He felt heavy, he couldn't even lift his own limbs. He felt empty. He didn't want to do anything, he would be exhausted from all the weight he was carrying. He felt dead. That was the most suitable word to describe his emotions now.
He had been like that for days on end, and his mother was getting tired of this careless behaviour. That day, she couldn't stand it anymore.
"YOU USELESS CHILD, WHY HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING TO US LIKE THAT?!" Tubbo winced at the rise of Mrs. Smith's voice.
He spoke monotonously, but softly. "I've not been feeling well mum, I told you. I've been feeling wrong."
Her flame didn't die down the slightest. "YOU DISAPPOINTMENT! YOU SHOULD RESPECT YOUR FATHER AND I MORE, WHAT A BURDEN YOU'VE BEEN!"
Tubbo was on the verge of tears when he heard his mother's harsh words. He knew she didn't actually mean it, but the pain stung his heart, leaving dirty, deep marks on it. Hurting him. Shattering him.
"I'm sorry, mum. I'm so sorry.." His voice cracked.
His mother calmed down a little, but she wasn't going to leave just yet.
"You're fucked up." Tubbo winced. He'd never heard his mother say something so bitter before. She continued. "You will never live up to my expectations, Toby Smith. You'd better buck up, or you will leave my house. Don't do anything to embarrass me anymore, you being a disgrace is enough already."
She stormed out of the house and slammed the door behind her. Now, Tubbo was all alone. He sat on the bottom step, and cried to himself. Hiccuping and choking, thinking bad things about himself. He was approvedly broken, and no one could fix him.
He suddenly shot upright and yelled, banging his fists on the wall so hard it shook. He looked at the blurred image of his bloody hands and squeezed the remaining tears out of his eyes.
"I'm such a loser. I'm a mistake, a disappointment, a liar, a burden, a disgrace, useless, fucked up, weird, antisocial, stupid, retarded, fat, pathetic, ugly, despicable..." And the list goes on and on...
"..and, and I should give up."
Tubbo smiled coldly. "Yeah, I should give up. I don't matter anymore, I don't serve any purpose." He rubbed his swollen eyes, splattering some crimson paint on them, and made his way to the bathroom.
-----
He looked at the small capsules, normally good for him and his health, but now deadly and harmful.
One,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Five.
He had five, ready to kill pills, on his pale, sweaty palm.
He shook nervously, but determinedly, as he tossed all five of them into his mouth, knocking them all back in one shot, choking harshly.
Tubbo made his way to his bedroom, waiting for his slow, but painless death to come.
He lay on his bed, pulled the covers over his body, and stayed there, having no regrets whatsoever. His fate had been decided, his last breath would be taken any second now.
He felt drowsy, and slowed his breathing. In and out, in and out, his breath was shallow. He closed his eyes, and drifted off into a dreamless, never-ending sleep, finally, at peace.
-----
This was actually inspired by a real-life experience. No, I did not try to kill myself, but I've thought of it--- don't worry, I realised I still have so much more to live for, like you guys for instance! Yeah, sometimes my parents say bad stuff that hurt me a lot, but ya'll reading and enjoying my books makes me really happy. Thank you for reading, love you guys. ❤️
An Update 5 mins later: This is sort of a vent thingy so please I'm begging you don't leave comments about bad stuff here please, you can do those in other shots but please not this one :<
YOU ARE READING
☆.｡ TommyInnit & Tubbo Oneshots :*☆ ✓
FanfictionI had a spark of inspiration one day so I just decided: "Hey, I'm bored, and I just got inspired to write, so why not???" And here is what I deliver to you! It may be choppy at the start, but don't worry, it'll get better. :) This book has FOUR AUTH...
