Unwanted

00

Nicolas thought his day was just usual. Sneaking from the building he called home and taking a run at the nearest river. Yes, he thought everything was just usual.

Not when the morning breeze blows more cooler than any other morning. It gives tingles in his spine but he just shrugged it off. He didn't mind at all.

But that's when he found a man. Swimming— no that's impossible. The water was just above his knee and the man is more likely ten years older than him. Yeah impossible.

He walked closer to the man and found out he was drowning himself. Nicolas knew it wasn't his business and the man has all the rights to kill himself. But just like what the sisters told him, killing yourself is bad and evil. He didn't want the man to go to hell— that's what the sisters told him.

He pushed him away from the river and look at him confusedly.

"What are you doing?" He asked the man.

The man looks at him for a moment before answering,

"Going to nirvana." He casually answered as if he wasn't killing himself earlier. He even brushes up his wet jet-black hair as he looks deeply into the boy. His deep ocean blue eyes penetrated the ash orbs of the young boy.

"Nirvana?"

The word was new for Nicolas, what would does that be?

Does going to nirvana requires drowning yourself just to be able to go there? He thought.

"Yes, nirvana." The man smiled.

Nicolas thought the man have the most beautiful pair of eyes he has ever seen. No, it wasn't just beautiful, it was breathtaking. Just like a deep blue sea.

"Why do you want to go there?"

"Because I want to be happy." The man started walking away.

Nicolas was confuse and lost. He followed the man to ask him another question.

"Aren't you happy right now?"

"I am."

That made the boy frowned. His forehead creased as he blocks the man from walking any further, he spreads his tiny little arms as he tried not to look scared. "Then why are you still going to nirvana?"

"Why? To become truly happy."

"I don't get it."

The man walks passed by him that made Nicolas puffed his cheeks and eventually followed him. The man walked too fast that the boy had to run just to catch the man’s pace.

"What do you think about my face?" The man suddenly asked after the short silence. He faced Nicolas.

Nicolas complied and look at the man who is now smiling from ear to ear.

"You're happy and smiling suits you." Nicolas replied with all honesty.

"How did you conclude that I am happy?"

Nicolas never thought he could encounter such man as what right now he's talking to. "Because you are smiling." He hugged himself as the cold breeze blows on their way.

The man stopped walking and so as the boy. "Who told you that smiling means happiness?"

"The sisters told me. And wouldn't it be weird if you are smiling even though you are actually sad?"

"Then would you believe me if I said that smiling also means courage?"

"Courage?"

"Yes."